Missing him

Read over our past txts and BAM it brought the memories back. The sweet lil nothings, the “I can’t wait see you’s,” the “you’re  amazings” and the longing of wanting to be somebody’s someone special. And no I”m missing him again. Except now, he feels nothing towards me so it’s a shit spot to be in. Feel your feelings & Recap of why it would never work. I miss him. The ideal version of him. The version that gives a fuck about me. But that fuck he gives is only unconditioally and I deserve so much better. I deserve someone who listens and wants to resolve and wants to grow. Not someone who can’t any accountability or the idea of him being wrong and never wanting to resolve unless he comeso out on top. Maybe he’s not as bad as Charlie but he’s a long way away from being on my level; emotionally, intellectually or financially. And why would I want him in my life? Why would I want a scrub? He’s a scrub but he’s my scrub and he’s not real.