How to not give a fuck

How to feel comfortable within other people’s discomfort? Not in other’s discomfort but within it. We’re not sociopaths, there’s a reason we’re wired in a way to feel and be in attunement to each other. And other people’s shitty feelings shouldn’t be of zero care to us if we truly care about those people. We need other people to feel a sense of community and mental healthy relationships. But what we don’t need, is the dependence on what others think. The dependence as our sole provider of our ego-based knowledge. Our sole provider of comfort and truth. We need it as feedback but not as a complete meal full of our daily nutrients. We need to find a way to rely on ourselves and to trust ourselves without having to wonder about the what-ifs when it comes to the other person’s discomfort. Our discomfort should be our guide to a certain point but not our total sense of identity. For we must find that on our own. Because it is ours and no one else’s. When we do depend on the other’s unhealthy opinions, it can drag us straight to hell, to the bottomless pit of ever dissatisfaction where nothing will seem fit or good enough. We must pretend we have a chopping block at our disposal and use it in our imagination quite often in order to separate us from the other. After all, we are not attached at the umbilical cord and we will do just fine without them or their opinions, no matter how factual they seem to be. Not to mention, the shame and guilt we feel when we do detach. But that shame and guilt shouldn’t be used against us by us, it should be acknowledged and used as a way to find ways to fill in that gap. In other words, find other things to put your self-value in; volunteer, help a puppy, whatever it takes to prove to yourself that you are valuable and you do matter, just as you are on your own. And no one else’s opinion should stand above that.