FRIENDS WHO INVALIDATE

If you have friends who invalidate your experience by calling you dramatic during an abusive relationship. Leave those friends alone!! You’re going through enough pain, you don’t need the pain of feeling another wound of betrayal of someone who is refusing to understand what you’re going through. It is YOUR story, not theirs. They don’t have the right to dictate what you should feel. They don’t have the right to question your feelings to the point where you’re defending yourself more than half the conversation. That alone sounds like a ton of work! It shouldn’t be this much work to get the support you deserve. If they don’t get it, they don’t have to. You don’t owe them an explanation after explanation, especially when it’s been the same many times as before. If they refuse to believe that your abuser is abusive, that’s on them. It shouldn’t be your responsibility to convince them. You’re already in survival mode, barely surviving. It shouldn’t be extra work of trying to convince them of your pain. Don’t talk to that friend about it. Period. They can say what they think and think what they want, but keep yourself away from their thoughts and opinions. They will do you no good. If anything, they could re-traumatize you further into dissociation and anxiety. Because now, not only are you going through abuse, but you’re fighting someone to convince them that the abuse is real. That’s too much work for your nervous system. If you can’t let them go, at least let them go during this process. Because talking to them will trigger you into a feeling of unsafely all over again. It’s just not worth it.