Dimming Our Light

Have you noticed how much open and free you feel in a relationship with a man who supports you? And how much closed off and shy you feel when a man is a narcissist? Because a narcissist doesn’t pay attention to your needs and wants and therefore you learn to dim them- you learn to dim your light- you learn to play small. Then it becomes a habit- you get used to playing small around him- you get used to not speaking up for yourself around him- because everytime it happens he either gaslights you or convinces you that it’s your fault somehow. So learn to keep your mouth shut and your needs unmet. You learn to betray yourself because he does it over and over again. But he needs to drag you to the bottom of his hell because that’s where he will have total control over you- control over your thoughts, wants and needs. That’s where you have no voice.  That’s where he owns you. And that’s where you wither away, forgetting who you are and that you were once powerful too.