A lot of things change in 13 years…

When OD emailed me to let me know that my old ramblings had been restored, I was like, yeah okay that’s nice. But a few days later, curiosity got the best of me and I decided to revive this old thing, for entertainment purposes, if nothing else. I had a hard time getting it to work (in true Open Diary fashion. Hahaha) and dismissed it. But today, it popped into my head and I decided to give it one more shot. Victory! I spent the next hour or so reading 13 year old ramblings of a teenager/young adult who, truth be told, had no grasp on real life.

Fighting with friends who, looking back, were as poor of friends to me as I was to them.

Planning a wedding I was FAR too young to take part in.

Frustrations with my dad who, in hind sight, was just trying to interact with me the only way he knew how.

Chasing after a sister who had her own life and wasn’t ready, or was afraid, to invite in a whole new family.

And other miscellaneous nonsense that I stated ever so articulately (haha).

I felt I owed it to my former self and the diary to close the book if you will and share how everything has turned out thus far.

Those friends I was so upset about? Don’t even talk to them anymore. They are all doing well from what I see of them on Facebook or Instagram, but that is about the extent of our communication. I made new friends that I had drama with too and luckily ended up with a small handful of real friends that I hold closely. Could I explain to my 20 year old self why we “didn’t have any friends”? No. I still struggle with friends these days. But it’s just not that big of an issue anymore.

20 is too young to get married. Simple as that. Nathan and I did buy our brand new house but we never had any kids. As far as I knew, I didn’t really want any. We traveled and lived the life of leisure. There was always something missing tho. I never could pinpoint what it was. We’re in the process of getting divorced now. Been separated for over a year. I really did love him but that life was just not what I wanted, I guess. We speak on occasion and he is doing well. I’m glad.

Did the relationship with dad improve? No, not really. He passed away shortly after I stopped writing in here. Came as a shock to all. Would I do things differently? Of course. But everyone says that, don’t they?

My sister and I met at dad’s funeral and we talk on occasion.  We’ve gotten together a few times. It’s not a real “sister” relationship but but I can’t complain.

So now we’re up to date as far as all of that stuff is concerned. Maybe more ramblings will come to follow including my new job, friends, boyfriend and best of all, my son. That’s right, I had a son in case I forgot to mention. He’s the world and he makes all this stuff seem so irrelevant from 13 years ago.

I wonder what teenage me would say if she could read this…

Have a good day!