She told me you’ve moved on…

I was hoping that I would have the time and energy to get home tonight and write this out. I almost talked myself out of it. I really just feel like curling in a ball in my bed and crying myself to sleep.

I texted my ex today… I know, I know.. I shouldn’t have but let me back things up here and explain how this all came about.

I have always had this one psychic that I have always trusted and turned to in real times of need. I finally decided to reach out to her last week and see if  she could squeeze me in on a phone reading this weekend. She called me last night after dinner and well… It was kind of weird because she had some things all switched around but for the most part she still knew things. I won’t spend the time going over EVERYTHING here that she said.. But I will cover a couple things.

She had told me in past readings that my ex and I (I was with him for 4 years) were soulmates. And God could I feel that.. She had also told me that I have loved him in numerous past lives. And that my soul recognized his.. but unfortunately in this life time we are just in two different places in life.. and well.. It was painful. It was the most beautiful love I have ever felt.. and the greatest pain that has ever tore through my soul.

I was afraid to hear what she had to say yesterday, but I won’t lie, I was expecting it. She had told me that he still cares about me a lot but it is more along the lines of brother and sister. He has moved on and his heart lies elsewhere. Which I sort of already knew. She told me that he felt like our relationship had run it’s course and that it was over. She said that she could see how attached I still was to him.. and how I always had open arms in hopes he would return. She was right. No one else knew that but her. She told me that for now it really is done and that I need to let him go. She did say that she felt like there might be a very small chance in the future that he will realize what he lost and he may try to come back.. but she said it was really small and right now God doesn’t have that in our plans. It broke my heart all over again… but to hear how he was truly feeling.. sort of gave me some weird closure.

She then mentioned that she saw that I was planning a trip back up North to the area where he lives… She told me that I should have lunch with him…. I was like.. Well I just don’t think I could do that. She told me that because we are soul mates and the fact that she can see that he still wants to remain friends that I should try to remain friends with him as well. That she feels like it would be beneficial to me.. and that I have to let go of the hate and negative feelings that I have toward him if I want to move on. At first I was like… FUCK NO… but the more I thought about it… I thought maybe, maybe this could be something. Maybe we can have that amazing friendship.. maybe we could salvage something out of this wreckage. I ended up texting him and basically just saying how I would like to remain friends etc. And he said that he was okay with it. We talked a little today. I will admit I missed him. We both put each other through hell.. A lot of it was his fault, but I am sure that I contributed to it in some way. I know everyone I know will tell me that I shouldn’t even give him the time of day.. but they don’t know my heart. I hope that some day his heart does return to me.. but I am letting it all go. If it is meant to happen it will. She has told me in the past that God gives us numerous soulmates in this life. I asked her if I was ever going to find mine.. and she said yes, absolutely. She told me that there are 3 set up to come onto my path…. but I need to get out of the house. It was weird because I never told her I am a hermit. And I was actually talking to someone at work the other day about how I need to get out. And this co worker was telling me that I need to get out and find hobbies and expand my social circle. My psychic told me the same thing. I asked her if this soul mate was NORMAL.. we both laughed and she said yes. But one thing that stuck with me was she said he was coming for me… and I always think in my head.. Where is he, when is he going to come find me… I am letting it all go. I am moving on from my past and opening my heart. I can’t wait for the day that he walks into my life. Maybe God will let me have all 3 at once hahaha jkkk. I just need to be patient. It is just so hard because I have never really had a “Good,” relationship. I don’t know … Where is the love of my life… Where are you