…….. I just miss you

The last couple of weeks at my job are dragging on .. and on.. I can not wait to be done there. I am so excited for my new life.. new job.. new surroundings.. I am longing for peace. That is all I want right now.

Peace

… and quiet

My dads labs came back.. they have not come down.. It is breaking my heart.. I am praying for a miracle. The doctor said that we have to wait 3 months after his final Radiation treatment to get a true number.

I just fucking want it gone.

D, fuck do I miss you… I don’t know how I am supposed to move on.. I don’t know how I am supposed to let go.. No one even comes close to you.. And I fear that no one ever will.

I don’t want to feel this emptiness the rest of my life.

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November 21, 2018

Moving on and letting go is tough, it might take a while…but it’s possible.

November 26, 2018

@sweetie04 Thank you for your kind words

November 21, 2018

sorry you have to be pulled through this pain with your dad. i can’t even imagine how hard it is. i hope everything ends up ok. and you won’t feel that emptiness for the rest of your life. it’ll take time to fill but it’ll be worth it.

November 26, 2018

@pearlysweetcake Thank you girl, I am hanging in there! I hope you are well!

December 2, 2018

You know there are a lot of people lately talking about their “big loves” and how we never really stop loving them. It’s like ok, I can bury this pain this sadness this anger this love but it never stays gone for long. He will always be in my head my heart and my soul. I just wonder if I will ever find someone close to that now, especially since I’ve  come out of my coffin….

December 2, 2018

@darkzymphony Right? Your message hit me right in the feels