Things aren’t the same…

Oh my! This page took forever to load! Anyway, things are the same. Today Ellen left work early. Leaving me to do everything by myself. I am driving myself over the edge because I am so depressed. I don’t know why either. But today was crazy. I was so exhausted. After work I went to eat Chinese food and go to the dollar store and then, when I got home, I immediately went to bed. For a half an hour. I’m totally drained. Been like that all week. I don’t mean to be but I am.

Oh, you know something? Something interesting? And weird at the same time? I started writing poetry again today. I haven’t written poetry in a long time. I think the last time I wrote anything like that was when I had to deal with the whole Justin scenerio. So that means that everything is really a mess. Lately, panic attacks and suffering have consumed me.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m thinking that I should call Hope for the Heart…a Christian hotline…just to talk. I feel the need to talk to someone but there’s no one to talk to here. The thing is I NEVER feel like this. Never. I can’t seem to figure out what’s going on. I think it’s all hitting me at once. I’m so overwhelmed. I hope that this passes soon.

I’ve been craving glazed donuts. And I don’t know why. Anyone watch Idol last night? I want Danny to win. He reminds me of a patient at work who loves me.

Love Always,

~Steph~