So Very Blessed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I’m getting more and more desperate to get out of here. And get my life back on track. What in the world happened for the last past like 10 years? What was I thinking? Wow! Who knows?! I guess I was too involved in debt to even think of having my own apartment and car and the whole nine yards. Major changes are coming. I stayed up half the night thinking about all of this. This is going to be wonderful. I’m 25 years-old I need to grow up.
That’s all I’ve been thinking about lately. It’ll be a new beginning. I am going to try and contact Catholic Charities tomorrow. But I don’t know if I’ll get that far or not seeing that I have to go to Curves and I don’t usually get home until 4 or after and C.C. closes at 4:30 according to the message on their answering machine. Maybe I could call them on the way to Curves…I usually walk to Curves after work. I don’t know. It all depends. I don’t know whether or not to go to the drugstore and get my prescription tomorrow or not either. All I can do is try. See if it really is the 10 dollars that my doctor told me it would be.
Once this whole debt is paid off, it is going to be great. I won’t have any bills to worry about anymore. I can move on with my life. Just one more payment! Yeah! I am so blessed. What I should have done or what I wish I had done is get another job in like September of last year. That way all this debt could have been paid off a while ago and I wouldn’t of had to worry about any of this. Never again. I am so telling you. Never again will I be in that kind of situation where I have such debt. I can’t handle the stress and anxiety.
In a way, though, I am afraid of these changes. What if I get in my debt situation again? What if I become really, really lonely? I mean, I’m already really lonely now. What if that gets worse? Then again, on the other hand, I should applaud myself for being independent and trying to make a way for myself. I don’t know. Things will work out in the end. Everything will be okay.
And another thing….I’ve got to stop living in fear. I’m sick of panic attacks and the whole nine yards. It kills me. The longer you go without doing something (because you are fearful of it), the more fearful you become.
There is finally some hope. A sense of a brighter future. A better life. This will be something different. Something to look forward to. This is what I’ve been waiting for for a long time.