I’m an Idiot!

So, I am such an idiot! LOL! Why? Because I stopped taking my anti-depressants a few days ago as I forgot to take a pill one night. I thought nothing of it. The next night came and again I didn’t take the pill. This continued for a few days. I don’t remember exactly how long. Today I thought I don’t need those pills anymore! I am fine! This is great! The pills helped me! I thought there were no withdrawl symptoms. Then I remembered that the pamphlet that was included with my Zoloft said to never, ever stop taking the pills without consulting a doctor first. I read before about serious side effects from Zoloft. I totally forgot about it! So yesterday at lunch I was sitting down eating with my co-workers, and I felt so weird. The only way I can think of describing it is that it was like an out of body experience. I’ve never experienced that before. It was like I knew I was sitting there ( I was aware of my surroundings) but, at the same time, I had no idea what I was doing. If that makes sense. It was scary when I finally snapped out of it and like "came back to reality." Maybe it was like blacking out? I don’t know. But it was strange. I was a whole other person. I remember sitting there and laughing and laughing to the point of no end. Something I never do. I didn’t really think much of it after that. I looked online and another word for that is depersonalization. Very odd. Anyway, I came home from work and was on the computer later on yesterday when my stomach felt really nauseous. It got the point where I almost got sick. Again, thought nothing of it. Today, I was walking to my doctor’s appointment (which I will talk about in a later paragraph) and all-of-a-sudden I was really hot. Sweaty. Very hot. Sat down in the waiting room and again felt really, really hot and sweaty. Weird. Almost all day I felt nauseous again. Walked back to work after my doctor’s appointment and BOOM! I was shaking like crazy, dizzy, had a pounding headache, trouble breathing, etc. I could barely contain myself for the last hour and a half that I had left for work. I was sweaty too. Really sweaty. And it would come and go. Later on, I finally realized (it FINALLY dawned on me) that I could be experiencing withdrawl symptoms from Zoloft. DUH! Then I come home today and read this online (and it scares me too): 

Zoloft withdrawal can cause jolting electric "zaps", dizziness, motor instability, extreme nausea, vomiting, high fever, abdominal discomfort, flu symptoms, agitation, anxiety, insomnia, aggression, nightmares, tremor, seizures, and confusion. In some persons, Zoloft withdrawal has become so painful that it lead them to commit suicide rather than face the agony any longer.

The reason that Zoloft withdrawal is worse than that of many SSRIs is that Zoloft has a relatively short half-life, meaning that the drug does not remain in the body for very long after the patient ceases to take it. Zoloft withdrawal can begin as soon as the day after a patient ceases to take the drug, and in some cases, severe Zoloft withdrawal occurs when the patient merely decreases the dosage.

Oh my! Why in the world did I stop taking those pills? I will never know…that was NOT a good idea. I took another Zoloft as soon as I got home from work. I am still feeling weird. I thought at first it was because I had to get my blood drawn today…and last night. LOL!

Okay, so the doctor’s appointment….so last night I had to get my blood drawn for them to see what level my Vitamin B reaches. It wasn’t a big deal. But today I had the appointment with the asthma and allergy specialist and I didn’t expect them to draw blood but they did. In my other arm! LOL! They stuck me real good! HAHAHAHA! And, if you don’t already know, I am afraid of needles. Seriously, though, for the 3 times I’ve had to have blood drawn in my life, it’s really not that bad. But I lay down every time just in case I pass out. Ouch! I hate needles soooo much. They freak me out. I can’t even lift up the bandage that the doctor put on me. It just bothers me to the point of no return. Ewww! I think it’s so gross. I saw the needle when she was done with it today. And almost passed out. Ahhh! I also saw the 3 vials of blood that she drew. It was sick. Anyway, enough rambling! LOL! I have to go back to the asthma and allergy specialist in 3 weeks. That’s how long it will take for the blood test to come back. Oh, and she prescribed Advair for me. Which is something I’ve always wanted. So that’s good. She said that I won’t need my inhaler anymore when I use that. 

I am offically on vacation! I don’t work again until Monday. YEA! Tomorrow we are going to the casino and seeing REO Speedwagon. Can’t wait.

Oh yeah….so Brian and I kid around all the time. For those of you who don’t already know, I used to have a crush on Brian last year until I found out he was 40! LOL! He looked at me kind of funny and I asked him what he was looking at and he said "nothing much!" and laughed. I said "Brian!" LOL! He took me aside and said that he was just kidding all the time. He asked me if I realized that. Which, obviously I did. He said "give me a hug!" LOL! So I did. Okay, then, a few minutes later, it was time to go home and Brian had some joke he wanted to tell Ashley and myself. Well, I told him we’d meet him in his office and he could tell us there. So we did. When we got there, Brian was shaking his head and saying "No…no. I can’t do this. No….I can’t tell you…" I asked why and he said something about it being a dirty joke. I said "Then please don’t tell me. I don’t want to hear it." Ashley kept saying "Yes! Yes! Tell me! I want to hear it!" So I left the room while they told dirty jokes. I would have died if I had heard them!

Speaking of, there’s a new counselor we hired. She’s about my age. I am trying as hard as I can to be friends with her! This social anxiety is fast disappearing! 

Last night I decided that I am going back to school in the fall! OH YEAH! I am going back to OCC. I am a college drop out. I went there in 2002-2004 and decided that I couldn’t take it anymore. I’ve already applied and been accepted there so all I have to do is just take classes. No biggie. I am so excited. They are going to be all online classes (the first time I went there it was on campus) and it’s for psychology. I want a better career. A more rewarding one. One in which I earn more money as well.