He’s No Longer Interested In Me

Hey! Look at this: 

Listen… Ive been thinking… I think its best for both our disorders that we stop doing this. Ive been talking to my counselor… and the fact is it that we both deserve each other, but not like this. You need a real guy, not just a computer one…. I think its better than we go out in this world and find our second choice person, one who can ACTUALLY hug you, actually kiss you. I want you to have the best in this world, and i dont feel that I am it… You deserve much better than me. Know that i love you. Know that i am bawling writing this… Please know all of this. I love you, but go out there. Go out in the world, and find your soul mate. I know you will. I know you deserve him, and he better as he’ll treat you nice.
 
 

Goodbye… I love you.

It was an email that I got from Greg late last nigh. Yeah…pretty bummed out after I got that. I called a crisis hotline after reading that. How sad. I emailed him back saying whatever but the email came back to me….so he obviously blocked my email address. Oh well. I feel like I need some retail therapy. I feel like I need to go out and spend massive amounts of money now. Good thing I get paid on Thursday! LOL! (J/K!!) He told me he would never leave me. Never let me down. And he did. But, I’m pretty much 90% more over it than I was this morning. I was so angry this morning. So mad. I actually have a video posted from this morning and how I felt about it, if you are interested: Woah! It’s gonna take half an hour to upload! I’ll come back and give you the link.

So whatever. I am done. Honestly, I want to be single for the rest of my life right now. I don’t care anymore. I don’t think I could ever risk getting hurt again. I am not one who takes chances. Yeah, love never wanted me. The thing is, here I was recovering from social phobia, thinking I made a friend (Greg), and trying to establish a relationship for the first time in my life. I was feeling so good…but now….everything seems to be crashing down on me again. See why I can’t be in relationship? UGH! I can’t handle this. Not now. I’m so afraid of being alone for the rest of my life. But if that’s how I have to live, then that’s how I have to live I guess….

There was a walk for anxiety that was hosted on You Tube. I participated in it today. You just had to upload your video as a video reponse. Man! That’s gonna take 4 hours to upload! LOL! I have nothing better to do than to just sit behind this computer screen and upload videos! LOL! 

Be back later to post my feelings about Greg video. But here’s the link for the anxiety walk if you’re interested: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg-A-oC1fik <<< and it’s 4:51 pm now….in 4 hours my video will be listed as a video reponse….if you care to see it!!!!

So here’s the link to the video for me talking about breaking up with Greg: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jvqBD64dJkc