Group Therapy

Okay so group therapy went ok. I like it. People actually understood me. But my hands were sooo sweaty and I left pools of sweat on the table. UGH! I admitted that I was a social phobic and a compulsive shopper. And I really didn’t know what to say. But my counselor was one of the counselors that runs it and she "cued" me. So that was easier. i was smiling and this counselor said "we all come from a background of pain. i want you to feel comfortable with expressing all that pain. it’s great that you are smiling and you probably want people to think you are a likeable person but i want your true emotions to show through." << that was sort of embarrassing. People thinking I was fake or something…but I really want to get into the habit of talking a lot in that group. So next Thursday I am really going to try so hard as hard as I can to do that! This counselor said "I know I’m putting you on the spot but…." and asked me how "loud" my house was. I talked about how my father was so loud and annoying and how my parents argue CONSTANTLY! The counselor asked me what I do during that time and I said that I go on the computer in my room with the door closed and blare my music from you tube. She then asked if that’s the life I want to live and I said no. She asked what kind of life I wanted and I said I wanted to move out. She then asked what I needed to do in order to move out and I said drive and get my liscense.

Oh, and as a clarification, someone wrote me a note on dating the patients at work…yeah well….obviously it’s not worth it to me to risk my job so i decided to have as little contact as I possibly can with that guy. Although he did smile at me today and said "Good morning" to me.

I’m such a fruitcake. LOL!