GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT FOR THEM!

Oh my! Oh my! Do I have GOOD news or what?! Okay….first off, this guy at work likes me. Except he’s NOT a patient. He’s a construction worker. LOL! He’s working on our siding at work. I so wish I had someone to say all of this to but I don’t. If I told Ashley and Ellen it would spread like a fire. The way they tell everyone everything. Nope. I don’t trust them. So no one knows….like usual. Oh well. My goodness, I’m almost 30 years old and never as much held hands with a guy! It’s about time something like this happened! Here’s what happened today with this guy: I first got there and he said good morning. He ALWAYS said that before. Well, anyway, after lunch, I went to the service hallway to get more toliet paper and I saw him. He was carrying some kind of metal beam or something. Some guy was in front of him. He apologized to me because we almost crashed into each other. I said "Oh, no. That’s fine." And then as he was heading out the door to go outside, he said in a loud voice something about "impressing some chick" and I laughed. I’m sure my face was so red. Oh well. I got the toliet paper and passed it out and then I came down the hallway again. This time he had a large rolling cart with more metal beams on it. The cart was taking up the whole hallway because the hallway is really narrow so I couldn’t get past it. He said something like, "Am I blocking your way?" I said no and hid the trash bag in the bathroom. Oh, and then I came back down another time and this time I wanted to take the trash out. He was going outside too.I purposely  followed him outside. He came back in before me and then kind of backed off and let me go ahead of him. And I was like, "Thanks!" and when I said it I looked him in the eyes and he had this sweet smile on. He said, "Oh…sorry about the wet floor down here. I know you mop it in the morning." I said, "Oh, that’s fine. Don’t worry about that." HAHAHAHA! How lame is that?! Oh well. I was so happy after that. I thought, What do I do? What do I do? What do I say?

And speaking of love, the patient that I spoke about before who I thought liked me. Oh yeah! He said hey to me today. Oh yeah!

Ashley has a job interview tomorrow. Another one. She had one on Tuesday. Ellen, when we went out on Tuesday, she said something like, "You know, Stephanie, I’m not going to be at ****************** forever. I’ve got the new grand baby coming." I didn’t approach the subject. I didn’t say anything. Nope. I wasn’t going to fuel the fire. Nope. Whatever. I am glad though. I’m hoping that she gets bored because of the fact that Ashley is no longer going to be at work. Time will tell.

Yeah so things are really good now. Really good. Last night, it was a night that changed my life forever. I spent most of the night sitting up in bed, talking to the Lord. Guess what? I have higher self-esteem. I am no longer afraid. I am more self confident. I feel better about myself. I don’t have to live in fear anymore. I don’t have to sit on the edge, waiting for another panic attack to come or play on my emotions anymore. And for that I am so grateful. I just realized all of this last night. I am trying to be more positive. It’s working. Like I said earlier, change for the better, right? I am so sick of dwelling on past events that I can’t do anything about and basing my life on the past. And not really having a self-love. I’m a new person. I have totally changed. Totally. Which brings up yet another topic. Okay, I am a BIG spender. If you haven’t noticed. I have a problem with spending money. I am a shop-a-holic. Anyway, so 2 catalogs came in the mail and I was going to order all this stuff from one of them. Clothes. So I marked all the clothes I couldn’t live without. This happened yesterday by-the-way. I was going to apply for the credit card to this specific clothing company and just put the clothes on the card. Well, it was very difficult NOT to do that, but I conquered it! I DID IT!  I didn’t buy anything. The last time Nate was here he made me promise to him that I wouldn’t buy anything and I did it! YEA! How cool is that?

So yeah….I’m not tense anymore. I think that I am worthy of love and I am very, very happy now. Very happy. Very thankful to God. That reminds me of yet another story….I was at work today and I was sitting down eating lunch with an older woman. She was talking about how all of these things happened in her life just recently. How stressed out she was and all this. Then she said she was in the hospital, laying down and it was night time. She couldn’t sleep when all-of-a-sudden, she heard a voice say "Don’t worry" and she thought that it was the T.V. but the T.V. wasn’t on. She said she thought it was God. How weird is that?! That is so cool! That was God talking to me and telling me to not worry too. And then this same lady was talking about how she went to a women’s Bible study group and they also talked about their personal problems but it wasn’t a pity party, it was more of encouragement and positive thinking. Which led me to believe that I should search the internet for something like that. Amazing. God is amazing.

Love Always,

~Steph~