Remembering Dagney: Writing Therapy

               I want to say a great “thank you” to all who left me such wonderful notes in the death of my beloved cat Dagney. The house is so empty without her. She was a “one person cat” totally devoted to “her dad”. It was a given that she would join me on the computer. She was too fat to jump, so she would stretch out on her hind legs and reach up with her front paws, and sink her claws into my knee or thigh. This was my cue to lift her up under her hind quarters and she would “walk” her way up my lap and settle in. My poor legs were always covered in scratches! It was like being at the gym doing curls!

I had to go back to my albums to get pictures to scan. I did not go digital until early 2006. It seems so hard to conceive now these two cats were so tiny and little.

This first shot is in the early days. Both cats are perched on my 1910 Remington Typewriter. I would estimate this to be in June or July of 1998.

This is from Christmas of 1998. What a change in Dagneys coat. Today Stumpy is showing a lot of white in his once jet black coat.

The memories I have of these two tearing up the house as kittens. They used to chase each other over the furniture sometimes even flying in the air. They left some scratches on my antiques and such. But, I have my house to live in. This place is not a museum. My sisters came to visit the summer of 1999. We sat down to eat supper in the dining room and I asked if they wanted to have entertainment. “Sure!” they replied. I set up the ladder and in no time those cats were climbing up to the top and fighting to see who would hold the top step! That was a favourite game between those two.

Daggy was not always a “full figured” girl. She looks downright skinny in this shot from the summer of 1999.

I used to go all out decorating for the holidays. Here is Dagney helping me to deck the halls Christmas 2000. She loved to climb ladders!

These backyard pictures are from 2003. My little girl is starting to pack on the pounds.

Open Diary had the big “hack attack” in 2004. Fortunately I always type my journal entries in Word which I save in my files, so I have access to those lost entries. That spring of 2004 was the year I had to “shit or get off the pot” in regards to transferring back to General Motors.

Once again I was going to have to live my life in limbo. I had my transfer in and was waiting to hear from Corvette Assembly in Bowling Green, KY that spring of 2004.

It was June….Dagney at this time started to lose weight and she was not acting right. Here is an excerpt from my Word files from a distraught entry on what occurred on Thursday, June 24th:

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:6.0pt;
margin-left:0in;text-indent:.5in”> Getting home from work I was hoping Daggy and Stump would be at the door to greet me like in the old days. The house feels strangely quiet. I call the cats. Stump sticks his head out the back bedroom door, and then I hear Daggy wailing. Oh my God. Here is my little baby howling, her tongue panting, and her sides heaving a mile a minute. As I call my veterinarian I am shaking. My vet is out of town for the day. I try to call Sherri and she is not home. Debbie is my next hope. I hate to call her at work but this is an emergency. She tells me which vet to call. This vet is located in the same building the animal shelter used to be in. It has been totally renovated. It was Deja-vous entering the place. Six years ago I carried Daggy out of this place, I can’t believe I’m bringing her back.

The Dr. is very competent I feel better just talking to him. I tell him everything I know about Daggy’s problems. My poor cat is going through a great deal of stress, the Dr. is glad I brought her in. I told him there was never any question about that. If I lost my cat because I was too blind to get her help, I could never forgive myself. A blood test is called for. Daggy does not like this at all. I have never seen her fight and panic so. My heart is breaking as the syringe fills with blood.

As the blood is being tested, an IV is given to get some fluids back into Daggy. She is given a shot of B12 to help her feel better. When the results of the blood test are known I discuss the outcome with the Dr. Everything is normal EXCEPT for the glucose levels. They are WAY too high. This is a sure sign of diabetes. Daggy is stabilized, and I’m in the lobby paying the bill when Jammer and Sherri come in. Debbie was able to get a hold of them, and they came right over. Thank God for friends. They were with me when I picked out Daggy and Stump 6 years ago!

They follow me back to the house. Daggy has quieted down. I let her out of the crate and she goes to the back bedroom. She went under the bed, and is still there as I type this out.

I fix up some iced coffee for Jammer and I: Soon as I open the icebox door, everything goes dead. All the power went out in the neighborhood. Great, this is all I need! I am spazzing out. I don’t want my little Daggy to suffer, if her quality time is over, I will have to have her put down. I’m going off on all kinds of tangents.

Sherri and Jammer head out. They stop my vets to drop off a copy of the blood work results. Sherri calls from the office. They want me to bring Daggy out first thing at eight Friday morning.

That is where we stand now. Debbie gets off work in a bit and we are all going to meet at Pepito’s. I need something to calm my nerves….

Here is the next entry I have dated 6/29/2004

What a difference a day makes. I’m exhausted when I get home from work on Friday. (June 25, 2004) All the stress of Daggy being sick, the move that may not happen, and the miserable weather have me beat. I lie on the bed after my first iced coffee and fall right asleep. When I awake, I’m in a state of confusion thinking I slept through my alarm! Then my brain kicks in and I realize I must get Daggy at the vets. It is 3:30 by the time I get there. The good news is that all her blood work is normal, and she is up to 11 pounds. The glucose levels were at 148, which is a far cry from the 355 of last week. There is no trace of sugar in the urine so diabetes is ruled out. My vet does not think there is any type of obstruction, he thinks I got a “bad” bag of cat food and Daggy just decided to stop eating. Who can figure? I’m given some pills to stimulate her appetite.

Once home and out of her carrier Daggy parks herself under the sofa in the back study. I lie back down with a cold washcloth on my forehead. That headache I’ve had all day will not go away. Stump is at the foot of the bed stretched out on his back with his paws in the air. He is totally relaxed. I feel the bed bounce: Daggy has joined us. She stretches out on my chest, and rubs her chin onto my fingers. It is feeling like old times again! Please let this last…..

To cut to the chase, the cats got switched over to Science Diet cat food and Dagney thrived. The transfer finally came through in August. I had to leave the cats in Tuscaloosa for the month until my Townhouse unit opened up September 1st.

<p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-top:6.0pt;margin-right:0in;margin-bottom:6.0pt;
margin-left:0in;text-indent:.5in”>Our year in Bowling Green now seems like a dream. I don’t have many pictures or journal entries from that time: Basically, I was working 10 hour days and just existing.

Here is Dagney in the drawer and with Stumpy on the bed. This picture was taken in February 2005.

Daggy and Stumpy made many trips between Bowling Green and Tuscaloosa that year.  Dagney was so glad to have me retired and be near her for more time than we had before.

As Dagney aged she slowed down like we all do. In the winter she would sleep spooned against my chest & under my chin. She had the perfect vantage point to give me licks with her rough little tongue. I’ve checked on line and cats mouths are cleaner than humans, so I never repelled her when he would lick my lips. Some people might be repulsed, but that kind of interaction is the highest form of affection from a cat.

It was last year when Daggy first started to have accidents. I had her treated for urinary tract infection and things cleared up a bit. However, I could tell this was not good.

When the accidents started up again a few months ago I knew in my heart what the outcome was going to be. I went into denial thinking that as long as I kept the “puppy pads” on the floor to trap and soak up the urine things might pan out.

Then my little girl stopped going upstairs and trying to hoist herself onto my lap. I knew her quality time was over. She was just existing. She was not living/enjoying life. The loving and affection she gave back to me when I’d love and rub on her could not even out her inaction and pain in moving. 

It has been so therapeutic for me to just write this little “life history” out.

To think of all the people who have read about my Dagney really is amazing to me. Dagney was a “Heinz 57” cat: a little bit of everything. But she had unconditional love and affection for me that knew no bounds.

I miss her horribly, but it was cruel to keep her alive. She is at peace. Slowly my heart will heal…. Thanks to all my friends here who have been a tremendous help in that direction…..I know she touched a lot of lives….