Patrick Stories

             It is so hard to imagine that 2013 will soon be over. My Stumpy is on my lap as I attempt to type. I’m working on improving my touch typing skills so I can start work transposing my paper journals to word files.

It was in 1985 I first began to keep my journal on a regular basis. I had to fact check with Joe yesterday for today’s entry.

An old friend of mine is such a mess. There are “good messes” and “bad messes”. This friend Patrick is a combination of both. I think I am safe to say, “We all have friends like Patrick.” Patrick and I go back to the 1960’s as teenagers, both collecting antiques.

For whatever reason, Patrick never learned the social skills to maintain any kind of equilibrium in dealing with people. There is a fine line between joking around with people and being truly offensive. Typing this out has me dredging up long forgotten episodes of my “life with Patrick’.

It was in the early 1980’s when Patrick bartended on Sunday afternoons at a Buffalo Gay bar. He had a “bar version” of Lets Make a Deal. The prizes were cast offs from his flea market booth, or items he would “curb shop”. Joe, Jeff and I entered this bar late one Sunday afternoon when Patrick was in top gear behind the bar. The place was pretty packed.

In a booming voice Patrick announced, “Look….Look at them…. here they come……the three biggest sluts from Lockport, New York!” Naturally all eyes were turned on us. Joe and I were used this kind of outburst from Patrick, but poor Jeff was mortified. He was still kind of new to Patrick having recently joined in our company of friends.

*Many years later Ron and I were at a Houston, TX gay bar. I was talking with a guy who lived for a while in Buffalo. He brought up Patrick and his Lets Make a Deal Sundays. He said he won some high heels he still wore on “special occasions”!*

While working at a “Mall Store” Patrick salvaged a mannequin from a dumpster. He named her Rosemary. Rosemary graced so many of out parties in various stages of modesty. Here is a rather tame shot of Patrick and Rosemary from the 1985 Summer Sizzler. This was early in the party… what happened to that poor Rosemary as the day progressed I’ll leave to the imagination!

It was announced on NPR yesterday that December 2nd was the 30th anniversary of the release of the movie, “A Christmas Story”. The memories that news brought back is the reason for today’s entry.

It was in the fall of 1983. Our entire crew was at a showing of John Waters’ interpretation of suburbia at the Palace Theatre in Lockport, NY. The movie was “Polyester”. “Polyester” was originally released in 1981. It was filmed and released in “odor-rama”. The gimmick was: at certain points of the movie a number would flash on the screen and you would scratch and sniff the appropriate numbered disc on your “odor-rama” card. Some of the smells were pretty vile.

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le=”font-size: medium;”>For a while movie houses would show this at late showings on the weekend to squeeze out some extra revenue.

Patrick was in our group this night which was a dangerous situation. The coming attractions were in progress for “A Christmas Story” when Ralphie’s face filled the screen. In his distinctive voice Patrick boomed out, “Oh my God…that looks just like Kurt ——-!” (There was a bit of truth there!)  Kurt was pretty well known in town: people in the audience laughed and then turned around to stare at poor Kurt. He just wanted to melt under the seats.

I could dredge up Patrick stories all day. He is one of those people you “love to hate”. He can make you so mad you want to kill him, but then turn around and do something so selfless you want to praise him. In both modes he has so coloured my life.