Climbing Trees / Family Drama

             This time of year always has me doing reflections back to 2004. This was when I had to get ready for the move to Bowling Green, KY to finish out my tenure with General Motors. There was so much upheaval going on. Because I can look back on those times and realize I survived, the contentment I current enjoy today can be justified.

My nephew Matt in North Carolina called the other day filling me in on the family drama going on up north. My nephew Michael just got a 2nd DWI; just what I needed to hear.

My sister Patty called me this morning to confirm it all. Our sister (Michael’s mother) went off to Patty how she hates our father because he was an alcoholic and that is the cause of Michael’s DWI. (There is a lot more behind Michael, but this is not the time or place to go there.) This sister does not accept our family history, or admit that alcoholism is hereditary. Our Grandfather was an alcoholic, and who knows who else buried in my family’s past. About the only thing my father ever said about his father to me was, “He was never able to make me cry.”  I really think there was child abuse that happened in dad’s childhood.

That said, my dad loved his family and raised us the best he knew how. It is not like he and mom had great role models to follow. Except for the drinking I was raised in a stable, loving home. I made my peace with my dad over his drinking many decades ago.

The “Father Knows Best” family my sister wished to be raised in has never existed in any of my connections: At least that I’m aware of.

             How I wish she would realize how lucky we were to be raised in a house with loving parents. Hearing all this drama from Patty, I was reminded of a “This American Life” broadcast about babysitting that highlighted some of the worst parenting. I do love that show… here is a link to that podcast with dreadful parenting. It is riveting and well worth a listen: http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/175/babysitting?act=3#play

         Sunday was spent tearing the Chinese Wisteria out of the hollies. This vine has gotten so invasive. I originally planted this as a quick growing cover to fill the space between the hollies. Well, the hollies are growing together so hopefully in a year or two I can take this wisteria out all together.

I was thinking of my dad Monday as I was in full “gardening mode”. I have a less invasive Wisteria which has gone ballistic with all the rain we have been getting. My poor fir tree was buried under this growth. I had done a clean out last year, but you never would know it for how things looked Monday.

I was able to get the worst of it all cleared out standing on my 10ft ladder and the garage roof. There were areas in the very top of the tree I could not access in this way.

When I was growing up, my best friend Teddy and I were ALWAYS climbing trees. We pretty much lived in the old maple tree in his back yard. It had a split trunk so there were a couple ways to access the top. A board was wedged between these two tree trunks half way up allowing a bridge of sorts. We constructed more “forts” up in that tree.

Looking at the Wisteria encased tree there was no other thing to do but climb into it and unwrap the bloody vines from the branches by hand. As I started out on my climb I realized: here I am at 61 years old, doing what I loved to do 50+ years ago! How many people can claim that?

Some 50+ years ago Teddy and I were at the top of that Maple tree when my dad stopped by trying to hunt me up. Ted’s little brother Stevie was on the ground when dad came in the back yard. I can hear Stevie saying

to dad, “Mr. B, Jamie is up in the tree with Teddy, I’ll get him down for you.” Where upon he started lobbing rocks at us! My dad never got over that! For a while in July of 2013 I was 10 years old again. These memories I have served to get me through some depressing and grim periods in life. How can you not laugh or at least crack a smile at Stevie throwing rocks to get you down from the tree?  The older I get the more I realize what a gift it is to able to laugh at yourself. Considering the absurdity of some of the things I do, I relish the fact I can laugh along with the people laughing WITH me!

I am so thankful I threw off the baggage of angst against my dad and don’t let it poison my life like it has my sister.

Lower left: Jamie Lower right: Stevie upper right: Teddy

Here is that tree cleared of the Wisteria. I just noticed in this picture: Proof this is a Gay backyard through the rainbow in the bottom right!

Daggy is sleeping in the open doorway to the driveway. The mornings have been cool, so I still don’t have the central air running yet. I’m loving having the doors and windows open. The contentment of watching Daggy groom herself, good tunes on Pandora Internet Radio, composing a journal entry with an occasional breeze wafting through, and sipping on the last cup of now cold coffee is pretty much perfection in my book.