Tourists!

I’ve been getting in around one in the morning lately.  And that’s been early for me.  Nope, I haven’t been partying or hooking up with sexy ladies.  I’ve been doing homework.  It’s such crap.  I pretty much figured my senior film would be the climax of my time at school.  The rest of my stay would be smooth.  I was wrong.  My portfolio class is still kicking my butt.  The professor is so demanding.  I’ve been putting so much time into that class that I’ve been neglecting my 2d animation class but I do suppose portfolio is much more important.  I was actually able to have a bit of a free night tonight and it’s been quite nice.  Unfortunately, it blew by and I don’t even know what I did with that time.

Only three more weeks.

An OD friend, Stacy, came to visit me this past weekend.  She makes number three of all the fine OD ladies that have come to visit the Bran man.  Karly, Courtney, and now Stacy.  When are the rest of you gals gonna come see me? *eyes Christie*

So, how are all of you?  I’ve pretty much stopped reading and noting you all and I have no idea what’s going on in your lives.  I hope you’re all well and hopefully I’ll get to catch up soon.  

If I had to describe my mood lately…well, I can’t.  I feel so lost.  My life has just been working on animations and putting together demo reels and portfolio books for my classes.  I haven’t enjoyed a good movie in a long time.  As busy as I was, this weekend was a good distraction from all the school crap I’ve been having to do, even if my knees are still hurting from all the walking.  It was worth it.  Hopefully I burned off some of the calories from all the great meals Stacy and I had while she was here.  

And before Stacy came, I hadn’t been talking to very many people besides my roommates.  I feel like I’ve lost contact with everyone else.  In some ways I don’t mind it ’cause a part of me doesn’t even want to keep in contact with anyone but at the same time, I get tired of talking to the same three people every day, especially when I don’t even like them that much.

I haven’t been writing, obviously, either.  I haven’t even written anything down in my paper journal.  I just don’t have the time or energy to articulate my thoughts.  I don’t like that because I feel like when I don’t write, I lose hold of myself.  Writing, for me, keeps things in perspective.  Writing balances me, resets my gears, straightens out my stresses and provides much needed relaxation.  And when I can’t do that, I wig out a bit.  Without writing to tidy my messes, my head becomes too cluttered to function.  

I’ve just had so much on my mind lately.  With graduation fast approaching, I’ve been contemplating my future more than ever.  I’ll write a separate entry about that later but it terrifies me so much.  It’s been taking up a lot of my thoughts lately, adding extra stress.  I’m freaking out over the future when my present is very much freak out material so I shouldn’t worry about the days ahead when the current ones are hard enough.  I just can’t help myself.  

Life is coming.  I’m going to have to grow up.

I’m twenty-three years old and I still feel like a dysfunctional little kid.  How can I be an adult when I haven’t truly experienced adolescence yet?

Oy vey, this is gonna get interesting…