god complex

I loved this, certain parts hit home. If there is a God, the only God I would believe in is one of love. Other religions seems to be OK with no heaven or no hell, no sin, no demons, surrounding yourself with quiet, peace and love. The God of Christian, Jewish, and Muslims is a harsh God. Yes the new testament should wipe out the old, but the old testament should turn a few people away from Christianity, who would want to be a part of that history? But they are just words, written by MAN, about some tales spoken thousands of years ago…what could go wrong with worshiping from that text? All is devine, the devine is within us, we are a part of the devine, we are light, we are love. Tap into the good within you, give that power, give that respect, and once you can find that within yourself, it will lead you in the direction you are meant to go. If you feel that devine within you is a link to The God you believe in, it shall be. For me the light, love and spirit within me comes from no personal diety, it comes from a source of energy that is a part of us all. Freely flowing, without judgement, without pain, without sin or hate.

If you read my diary, then you will see I have been through suffering lately and my faith is shaken. God showed me his love really well before, but harder now because satan is at work. Like you I will not give up on believing, because I choose to believe he loves me still. I still find myself defending him, even when I am confused too. He is our father, and loves us enough to allow us free choice!

I believe that none of us are viewing the world as what it actually is. Everyone’s experiences, influences, and backgrounds differ, so of course our thought patterns and perceptions will, too. No one is ever going to completely agree with anyone. Personally, I think that the only rule to live by is to treat others fairly. Never do something to someone that you wouldn’t want done to you.

I believe the relationship with God is key. It’s what matters most. I hate that emptiness that comes along with established religion. It’s easier for be to believe when I feel something. And it’s hard to feel something when I can’t grasp it physically or mentally. All the same, I believe in my relationship with God and hope it is enough

amazing entry. “when is it God’s will and when is it free will?” I struggle with this each and every day. i can relate almost entirely with all you have to say here and it’s a relief to know i’m not alone.

In all seriousness. I like this post. You do good write well.

And, at least you don’t have a God Simplex. Just as bad, only reallly diminuitive.

Love this entry..I have never known how I feel about the God,I for the most part just try to to think about it…I don’t I’ll go to so called heaven but I doubt I been so bad I’ll be sent to so called hell…It’s very hard to know what to believe or think…

I can really relate to how you are feeling. I’ve been pushing away for some time now and while parts of me believe that God is real and is working, there are other parts that just disgust me about the whole institution of religion.

Don’t be angry with something that does not exist. Give up the thought of a God altogether. It makes life so much less complicated.

Very interesting thoughts…and I think they are completely normal in the realm of Christianity.

I’ve struggled with the things you’re struggling with. I think what has kept me fromt drifting too far is remembering that when David was angry or confused with God, he told him as much. I’ve been so angry with God, but I always make it a point to communicate with him, even if it’s just me telling him that I’m pretty upset with how things are going and I don’t understand why. I agree thatChristians don’t make a place for God when things are crummy. They should. I don’t think God enjoys tormenting us, just as I don’t think God is always blessing us just because something is going “well” in our lives (who are we to know what God’s end goal is for our lives? I really don’t feel that getting a promotion or making more money is something God thinks is important, unless it’s going to be used to glorify him). I think we need to remember that our time here is a small part of our existence…the good stuff won’t last, the bad stuff won’t hurt forever, and the only thing that is going to matter is how God greets us when we’re finished.

If God was so easy to understand, then everyone would be believers. 🙂 I was not raised in church, but I’ve experienced the ebb and flow that seems to go along with faith in Christ. If faith were easy, then it probably wouldn’t be called faith. Perhaps your not “feeling anything”, because you’re too busy spinning your wheels….trying to feel. It’s kind of looking for something you’ve lost…you find it when you least expect it. I believe God works often in the same way. I’ve had thoughts on just giving up on God, but then I think about how hard He’s fought for me, how much He’s done for me. If the Lord isn’t willing to give up on me, I’m not going to give up in Him.

I also believe that God is absolutely and 100% love. But he is also absolutely and 100% just, and people aren’t always willing to see that. He doesn’t play games, he’s spelled out exactly what he expects from us. He gave us our chance, we blew it, and because he loves us, he provided a way for us to be forgiven. We’re fools if we believe that in the end, we can have a say in how we’re going to judged. Any good pastor or church knows that it’s all about the relationship, not about the rules. The hard part is that as Christians with maturing, nurtured relationships with Christ, we truly should be showing evidence through our attitudes and actions that we are one of his. So churches take this notion and begin to break down how they feel that relationship SHOULD be presenting itself. This becomes the religion, the relationship aspect is forgotten, and that’s one of Satan’s greatest tools. I hope you find what you’re looking for. The church can be one of the most discouraging places for a Christian to be.

I’m with YAH. There’s no use wrestling with things that are unknown and unknowable. Focus on the here and now, and what can make the world a better place.

Some familiar thoughts and emotions expressed here. Feel you, and have to say: Your life is a testament.Every hour spent in struggle, every moment of pain and confusion when you’ve kept the faith- it’s beautiful. To your kinfolk in Messiah, to the lost, and to Him. He loves us, even when we don’t feel the emotion.He’s with us, even when His presence is removed. Praying for you, brotherman.

It is entirely possible to have faith without religion. Thanks for sharing your thoughts & experiences with us.

i like this ryn: thank you 🙂

If you want, I can link you to a very interesting set of videos regarding the topic, perhaps it can help you figure out where you are or where you are going. Let me know if you are interested.

God exist, in my opinion. What it is, I don’t know? Should I define it, no. Let God be God, and you focus on being human. I believe that is why we are here: to understand what it means to be human.

random: I was molested from age 4-14. I told and well…my uncle was let off scott free… I struggled for so long and even hated God for allowing everything to happen and crushing my life. I never understood…why. BUT he has a reason for everything he puts in our paths. Either to make our prayer life stronger, bring us closer to his word, get us back into church, or to be a witness and share ourtestimony with others! I am here to say the power of Gods forgiveness shines thru me. I have since forgiven my uncle for whawt he has done and 15 years later my family has moved forward and started healing and can even be in the same room with one another when we are in town. God is good ALL of the time!

I saw you on the front page and I have to say I like this entry. I too am struggling with my relationship with god. I have pushed him away becase of my father and past experiences with churches.

“And who’s to say I’m not just another Christian switching seats until I find one I can go along with? Maybe I’m just as guilty as those who frustrate me.” I have so much respect for the fact that you added this bit of self reflection.

Great entry. God is definitely complex. I think everyone struggles with their faith at some point. A lot of your struggles hit home with me. I’m drifting away from my faith right now too.

I would encourage you to keep praying for God’s will in your life. God is real and He cares about you. He is with you always.

God is love. Sometimes love mean we need to be punished when we do wrong. Sometimes God gives Satan power to test our faith. Look At Job. He took his family and yet Job believed even though he struggled. Satan is here to steal, kill and destroy. Yet every thing bad that happens is not of Satan. Sometimes we cause bad things ourselves. Good things are not always of God. Questioning God is not wrong or harmful rejecting him is. If you truly know Christ you cannot be torn from him. He loves you. For a long time I believed the Baptist church was right in what they believed. Then I searched the word and found some things that me question. Then I went to a Presbyterian church and a Pentecostal and found things I thought were right and wrong in them. I then prayed Go show me what is right. I prayed for months before he answered. The answer was simple believe I was born and died on the cross for your sins, I rose again in three days and left the Holy spirit to guide my followers till I come back. No feeling required just follow the voice inside you that leads you along the way. You know the truth is lives within you. Praying for you friend, Ed

i like your mind

I believe that I have a relationship with Jesus Christ. I do believe in Heaven & in Hell. I believe in demons and in angels. But, all this aside, I’ve had 2 bad experiences with Pastors, and 2 different churches. Now, I not persuing finding a new church home. I know I should. I worship, pray, sing praise songs, & so on, all in my own home. I know I should “not forsake the fellowship of the brethran,” as per the Bible. But, now, I have a problem with “organized, man-made, religious services. I feel guilty and badly, yet, I know God still blesses me and watches over me. I adore Him, too. A Lot of it is “faith,” as you know. Eyes can not see spiritual warfare, but it exists. Sometimes I miss it, and other times, I think it’s it, and it’s not. Gah. Oh well, I just saw you on the front page and was curious. I am 69, and have loved the Lord all my life. It’s “people in churches” I have some issues with. I know God’s Holy Spirit will lead you in the way He wants. :*) bighugz.

I feel like I could have written most of this. Its almost bringing me to tears actually the more I think about it. I tried for so long to find God, and I’m still nowhere closer to Him. I have hope. But I do wonder if I’m just like all of those people who claim to know who God is. Thank you so much for writing this, I mean it. 😉

There were times I wanted something so badly from God, or just wanted clarity, and it didn’t come. It’s possible I was just waiting for Him to approve my way rather than agree to His way. I don’t think Christians or other religious people get any special favours, but when I’m closer to God, it’s easier to see everything from a more divine perspective. It’s like stepping back to understandhow the gears of the universe work together, rather than focussing on my problems. (Joan of Arcadia is a great program that demonstrates this mindset.) Maybe it would be helpful to focus on the things you’re grateful for when you pray, and see His love through those. I try to do that sometimes… just thank rather than ask.

This was very well said. I think it’s clear from the notes that you’ve hit a cord that resonates with a lot of folks, myself included. I think the biggest myth is that faith is easy, that you just have to “simply” believe. Faith is the hard part. Praying and going to church and doing good deeds are easy compared to “simply” having faith. Best of luck 🙂 Dynne

Your writing has echoed so much of what I have thought and felt myself. I was raised Catholic, but I’m not practicing my faith for a lot of the reasons you discussed. I think every one of us has been blessed, cursed, or damned at some point.

I literally just wrote about a spiritual encounter I had on Friday. I am not a believer, but I feel there is a reason why I read your entry immediately after writing mine.

Good Morning, Or actually, afternoon, NOW, LOL. Thank you for your notes. :*) I welcome your “input,” because I always feel guilty for not attending “corporate worship” which I actually love, as I feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, but, I sometimes do at home, too!! In any case, I know I should still be taught by sermons, but, DO watch some on t.v. here and there, like you said. So, all in all,I just wanted to say thanks. Visit me anytime you wish!! If you don’t mind, may I add you to my faves list? :*) bighugz.

Imaginary friends are for kids. Grow out of it and live a moral life based on common sense rather than religious dogma that promotes hatred, sexism and homophobia. One less burden about things you already admit are too big to understand will reduce stress and allow you to live a better and more enjoyable life. As far as we know, there is zero evidence of an afterlife, so no mulligans. What you have might be all you get. Enjoy and tresure it for there are no dress rehearsals in life, only performance. Cheers,

Amazing post. I am blown away by your writing and your thoughts/opinions. Very well written, and it’s something many people can relate to. I’ve always struggled with my faith in God. Lately I’ve been seriously considering leaving the Roman Catholic church for the Eastern Orthodox church, but there are some things that prevent me from doing so. Again, great entry. Thanks for sharing it with us.

And I’d like to have a pic of you in the sriracha gear ! ;D Haha, yeah, I really want the book too. I should just buy it for myself but I really have it in my head that I want a strange woman to buy it for me so…yeah. I will dig out the link. Never too much trouble. Now that you mention it though, I do think I linked you to em.

There’s much, much more to say, but real quick, your comment about emptiness made me want to share this with you: http://melisaki.tumblr.com/image/2187002676 I’ve always thought it was one of the best, most honest and yet optimistic views of that empty feeling I’ve found. And yes, it’s a comic. 😉

Got you covered like a jimmy hat: http://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLA0C3C1D163BE880A&feature=plcp

I was raised in a Christian home by a Methodist pastor and a school teacher. I was raised in the church by the church. I have faced my anger over and over again at God but I finally have realized its not God I should be mad at. My world has been shaken over and over again but God isn’t shaking it. He keeps me steady. The world and the evil in it is against us and with out God it will consume us.

For me, the journey began when I remember that everything that I knew was only what I had been taught, so I didn’t really know anything at all. So for god, I thought where do I begin. My answer began with astrology, especially natal astrology. Once I saw the heavens and the earth were connected, I understood time a little better.

Eventually, I theorized that god is everything. A million of pieces shattered and trying to bring itself together. I try to perceive time. Using time as a my friend and not my enemy has given my life great benefits, patience is one of the hardest things to understand. Time is full of wonders and stories, and the heavens have their secrets written in the sky.

YOu will never find “IT” by thinking about it. Once you have exhausted all of your energy thinking and can have a moment of silent awareness, that’s when it happens. Know what else…it will come as a feeling, not as a concrete sign. God speaks to the athiests all the time. We have yearly retreats and he usually brings a keg. It’s awesome! <3

thanks for noting me back! i was listening to alan watts in the car yesterday and i thought of you. have you heard of him? if not, give him a listen. a lot of his stuff is on youtube. super calming, enlightening stuff. hope you are well 🙂

“I was taught God was one of love but what if he really does discriminate and decimate?” I was taught God is love also, but after reading the Bible on my own, I found it impossible to believe such a thing. The God in the Bible does discriminate and the Bible is full of stories of God decimating, which is why I have come to believe the world would be a better place without religion. Bythe way, if you believe the Bible, you don’t immediately go to Heaven or Hell upon death. You must lie in wait for the rapture. Personally, I hope for nothingness upon death. I surely don’t want to spend eternity with an omnipotent being who would allow all the terribleness of this world to exist, who would allow Satan to exist, who would decide what we do in advance or who would leave us to sin and destroy ourselves without his involvement.

Well, I am just trying to give ideas. Just remember that your thoughts shape ur reality, and the purpose you r searching for is the one u gave ur self. Did u get a chance to look at the video.

I could have written this. You write it and explain much better than I ever could, but these are all things I have thought and experienced. Yes, a pastor. You’re not alone, Brannon. We all wonder if our God is the real God or just the one we hope God is. At least those of us that THINK about it instead of just nodding our heads in the pews. I can’t stand the yes-sayers just asthe nay-sayers also drive me crazy! Let’s have a discussion instead. Novel idea.. Jesus does not promise us that our lives will be easy. The Christians that got the idea that God is love therefore if you believe your life will be sunshine and roses have NOT been reading the whole bible. Those who believe the most are often the ones that have the worst lives. It’s not God punishing them, but the world and it’s evilness. “But why wouldn’t God deliver them since they’re only trying to do good and promote God’s word?” Why do we let our children fall sometimes? Why do we let them touch the hot stove after repeatedly telling them stay away and they won’t? Some things must be learned on our own. They cannot be taught or instructed, but must be experienced.

Does Jesus like the idea of all of us suffering? No. You’re right that God does just want the chance to love us. He gave us that chance once with Adam and Eve. They chose to dismiss such a gift for knowledge and power. Don’t we continue on that path? Look around you. How much of our lives consist of attaining knowledge and power to ‘make ourselves something’? And when we do not achieve our lofty dreams we become depressed and sad. We are seeking things that are not nearly as important as God. The fact that you learned it is about the relationship with God and not following the rules tells me you know more about God than many EVER will. Yet, you still feel alone and empty. I can relate to that. It’s hard to be good when God feels forever away. Then the doubts come in and we think, “What if God doesn’t exist or doesn’t care like we think?” and so it becomes easier to tear ourselves away and do what we want. All I know is that God exists. Is he the loving, benevolent God I hope? Jesus leads me to think so, but it doesn’t mean I don’t occasionally doubt. I’m saying all of this to tell you that you are not alone in your struggles.

*HUGS*

“I’ve heard before that sometimes our emptiness is God carving us out so he can fill us up again. I can only hope that’s what’s going on with me.” Thanks for this… Loved the entry.

very thoughtful and at times insihtful. it’s late now, but i would like to answer to the best of my knowledge the concepts that you don’t have quite right. i’ll be back, if that’s ok with you.

I see you’re still basking in the glory of your Reader’s Choice entry. 🙂 How’s work on your memoir- the editing and condensing of it all- been going, Bran Flakes?

RYN: All this, while you’re growing your facial hair out, too. 🙂 November is a busy month for you. So, what’s the book about? Are you gonna share it, in your OD? Or are you gonna keep it very hush-hush, as you hope to have it published, someday?

I wish I had more time to really keep up with your entries and really read them thoroughly. You have such good ideas and your head really intrigues me, the way you think. I don’t get online that much and it’s usually only for a short period of time. I’m not sure anyone will ever understand religion and “god”. I grew up religious but as I got older I questioned it more, at this point in my life

if I had to say, I would say I was agnostic, borderline athiest. It just doesn’t make sense to me, I feel like if there were a god then he would make himself more known, instead of this imaginary thing you have to imagine in your head.

I’m not sure if I believe the following, but here goes: Being a “good kid” without expecting anything in return might make things better for you. Who knows, that might work. Also, there’s a book called The Ethics Toolkit that might shed some light on ethics for you. Ethics is an important part of most religious traditions.

Monotheism for what it stands for pervades all aspects of life whether you, Brannon, care to admit it or not. Perhaps, you should pay attention to your own perspective of God rather than others. I’ve noticed how you often compare yourself to others in other aspects of your life non-stop. You shouldn’t ‘try’ to feel anything. Dulling the subject of God doesn’t unrest Him.