Frenzy

Hard at work trying to finish this darn film.  I’m so close to being done that I’m slowing down.  I’m not slowing down because I’m getting lazy because I feel like I don’t have much more to do.  I’m slowing down because I am burned out on this project.  All of my time and energy has gone into getting this thing finished.  Unfortunately, the closer it gets to being finished, the more unhappy I’m becoming with it.  I know, I know, I always say that.  I’m never satisfied with anything I do.  No "artist" ever is.  But, seriously, I don’t like it.  But, it’s all mine.  I did it all on my own and didn’t receive any help from outside animators.  

We are allowed to get help from others if we choose.  Some students ask others to do their clean up.  Some get people to do their coloring.  I have an acquaintance who asked someone to do her backgrounds for her.  My roommate is getting a sound designer to do his music.  When you get others to help you with your film, it definitely takes the pressure off.  That’s cool and all but it’s not for me.  For one, I don’t trust anyone to help me out.  Everyone is so wrapped up in their own projects that they definitely don’t put your stuff at the top of their priority list.  You keep checking in and they always say, "I’ll get it to you next week.  I promise."  Next week rolls around and they haven’t touched it and you have to end up doing it yourself and it just adds to your load.  Also, I don’t like the idea of anyone else touching my film.  I don’t want anyone else doing my work for me.  I want to be able to freeze frame at any point in my film and be able to say, "I did that."  So, even though my film is crap, it’s my crap and no one else’s and so I suppose that’s something to be proud of.

I only have small stuff to finish now.  I have to do about 3-6 more seconds of coloring and then some nitpicky stuff and then I should be finished.  Hopefully I’ll be finished late tonight.  If not, I’ll have to stay up all night and finish because I still have to compose some music for this thing, which I haven’t even started on yet.  I want to get everything else finished as soon as possible so I can spend the rest of the quarter on the music.

It’s so weird because I’m still in the mindset that I have so much more to finish.  For weeks now I’ve been thinking that after I finish the one scene I’m working on, I still have ten more scenes to go.  And now I only have two full scenes to finish but yet I feel like those ten scenes are still waiting in the wings.  It’s hard to grasp that I’m almost done.  I just have the small stuff to deal with now and I’ll be home free!

And most importantly, I’ll be home!

I’m leaving on Friday, getting the heck out of here, and I’ll be seeing my pets later that night!  So excited.  So ready to relax.

And catch up on my sleep.