Closing up Shop?

I’ve been randoming diaries and there’s been a lot of talk the past few days about leaving OD.  A lot of people have been mentioning the frequent problems this site has and the frustrations of not being able to update or read favorite entries and I feel the same way.  I’ve been contemplating leaving for a long time and I think I even made my intentions known in a previous entry but the things that keep me here are the same things that keep all the other frustrated diarists here, mainly habit and also the fact that leaving would mean leaving behind all the friends that have been made.  The one thing that I like about the place above all the other blogs is that people actually leave notes on your entries.  I had Livejournal since I was sixteen and kept it for maybe over five years I think and I never got a comment from someone who didn’t already know me.  And when I created a diary here, I frequently had random people leaving notes of support or encouragement and I like that.  I also like the fact that no one in my personal life knows about this place so I can be as free as I want to be.  I’ve advertised my other blogs to friends so I can’t talk smack about them on any of those sites but I can still dish the dirt here and I like the fact that I have a place to go to be able to do that. 

Of course, there are the problems.  As far as I recall, there have been two major hacks (there might have been more, I can’t remember) and I was affected by the last hack attack.  It kind of scared me because, as I mentioned, I have some private stuff written here that I wouldn’t want getting into the wrong hands.  It could be tampered with or even deleted.  Basically, I don’t feel very confident in the safety and security of my writing.  That’s why I started another blog to keep as a backup journal in case anything should go wrong with this one.  And then you have the days when it doesn’t work or runs incredibly slowly and it’s so frustrating because I am always on Open Diary.  I know, that might make me sound like a loser and I’ll freely admit that I am but when I can’t read random or favorite entries, update the look of my diary or update the contents, it’s irritating.  Some days, I declare I’m done but then it starts working right after I say that and so I don’t do anything.  I stay.  But lately it’s just getting to where it happens too frequently and I’ve just about had enough.

I feel bad, though.  I almost feel like this is a little home for me and I have people that have been reading me for years and I’ve even meet a few of my favorites in person.  Plus, I’ve just been writing in here for so long that it would feel weird not to write here anymore.  But, I don’t know, I’ve noticed a definite decline in noters and a lack of updating from a lot of my favorites.  Now, I really hope my favorites won’t read this and think I’m leaving because they don’t update or note anymore.  It’s not like you guys are the main reason I want to leave and it’s not like it’s your fault because it’s not at all.  It’s just kind of a contributing fact to why I might leave.  So, please don’t feel bad in any way.  Obviously, I have my other blog that I always put at the bottom on my entries so you guys can read me there and I’m sure I’ll pop in from time to time to check up on you.  Plus, I have the contact information of just about all of my favorites so we can always communicate in some other form.

I just feel bad because I kind of feel like this is an underdog site and I know that the Diarymaster does his best and I can tell he’s proud of this little site and that’s great and I don’t want to make it seem like this place isn’t good enough for me anymore or that I want to move on to a bigger and better site but it basically comes down to ease of use and the frustration factor.  It’s easy enough to use but the frustration factor is increasing.  I just don’t know what to do.  I want to leave but I’d think I’d end up feeling bad about it.  There’s a part of me that wants to stick around because this place could get bigger and better one day and I want to be there for when that happens but I just don’t know if it will ever happen.  Plus, if I leave I could be cutting off the potential to meet other really great diarists and read their inspiring words.  I know with the blog I have on blogger, I’m unlikely to meet any new people.  At the same time, I don’t think there’s a lot of serious writers here.  Now, stop for a second.  If you are a favorite and you’re reading this, then obviously I’m not talking about you because I favorited you for a reason!  And if you are a random reader, that also doesn’t mean that I am necessarily talking about you so please don’t be offended.  I’m not saying every writer here sucks.  And I’m definitely not trying to come off as snobby and act like I’m an amazing writer because I am not snobby nor do I think I am an amazing writer.  But, come on, if you’ve ever occasionally randomed a diary, it’s mostly pretty bland.  And really, it’s just a matter of taste. 

There are the people who write about their daily lives and then there are people who are more introspective.  For me, I like to read introspective diaries, diaries in which people examine themselves, their actions and behaviors.  I’m not so much about what you did that day because I don’t really see the point in it.  Ten years down the line, I think the writing that’s going to mean the most to you is the writing in which you found out why you’re afraid of food or why you don’t like authority figures, the writing that helps you grow as a person, the writing that you can look at to show how much you’ve grown, the writing that acts as a reminder and a reassurance of who you are, not the writing about how you went to the grocery store to pick up some chocolate chips and tampons.  Once again, no offense to people who write about their daily activities.  I even write about my daily activities and in fact, the majority of my entries lately have been more “typical day” stuff rather than “deep thoughts” entries.  I also know a lot of my favorites write about daily stuff and that’s fine, I’m not talking about you guys ‘cause one again, you’re a favorite for a reason.  I just don’t find a lot of what I read very stimulating.  It’s not that I don’t think there’s a lot of talent on Open Diary.  It’s not a matter of talent, just content.

I’m still not sure what I want to do.  I created my blogger account because I intended to make that my main blog and advertise it on here so that long time readers would know where to find me after I eventually left here.  I intended to phase out of this place by writing a few entries here but writing most of my material on blogger.  And that’s probably how it’s gonna go down once I definitely decide to leave.  I’m pretty sure that I won’t renew after my subscription runs out.  And then seeing all those annoying ads will probably give me the push that I need to just go ahead and close up shop here and write exclusively on blogger.  And speaking of…

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Everyday Entropy