Bailout and Abandonment

my heart shrieks out for you
but the wire you chewed through
the blood the bone and the glue
broke the bond that bound us two

like a tortoise you slip inside your shell
thinking scars and guitars will make you well
but you’re only burning in your own private hell
can’t reach out your hand so you pull back to yell

you fall and shiver and scratch and scream
but it doesn’t do any good or mean anything
no one knows why you’re hurt or what it means
sealing out others while you split at the seams

you’re unconcerned with those you hurt
feeling distant and bitter and callous and curt
wallowing and swallowing and eating your own dirt
spreading blood along your hands smearing on your shirt

running and spitting and spinning spineless
vacant stare your victimization is not crimeless
the wake of hurt you left is vast and timeless
spreading and dreading and loose and lineless

so i’ll write myself to sleep and worry myself awake
contemplating the day that we finally break
no more decorations or icing on this cake
wondering how much more of this tearing I can take

no choice but to write passive aggressive poetry
and lament about the times you meant the most to me
and regret how now you’re red to me, dead to me
floating in the sewage of your own entropy

if you’re gonna leave i guess i have to let you go
but before you depart there’s something you ought to know
you picked me up and held my hand so i would follow
but you cut me off shut me down and left me irrevocably hollow