Bubble No. 56: Still Breathing!

     *gasps, falls over*

     Okay, I’m still alive! *laughing* It’s been quite a while since I updated, I notice. Whoops…what can I say? There’s been a lot going on. I’ve been very, very busy. (Most of the time too tired to really focus long enough to write.) So….where do I start?

     For one, I love my friends. I mean love them. They got me an Xbox for Christmas, complete with DDR dance pad, game, controllers…everything. How awesome are they?!? *snugs Ninja, Gummi & Ibu again* I looked at Gummi when he handed me the bag and said "Did I sleep with you and forget about it?" He couldn’t stop laughing. They’re so cool. I just…*hugs ’em again* Although I’m going to stab all of them for getting me hooked on Guitar Hero II. *grumbles* First Wuffie got me with DDR, and now the guys with Guitar Hero. Why?!?

     Oh well…it’s been more good news than anything else these last couple of months. Now that I look back and think about it, I’ve been so happy I haven’t really thought about much. I mean I’ve been thinking about moving out, getting set up, heading up north. (I’m planning on moving to the Northwest. There’s an amazing amount of publishing houses concentrated there.) But I haven’t been dwelling on anything, and really just enjoying being alive and frolicking. *laughing* The guys’ve been keeping me extremely busy, with sushi, and gaming, and running around. We’re working on cosplay costumes at the moment, and Gummi finally picked out three characters for me. (I left the decision in his capable otaku hands.) And the costumes, well…let’s just say that I can fit into anything he’s picked out so far. *squee!!* This is the first time in my life that I haven’t been overweight. Seriously…medically speaking, I’m no longer overweight. I can’t describe how excited I was when I tried on a pair of jeans I’d had for about seven years and they fit. Loosely. Oh yeah…there was some serious *SQUEE!* going on THAT day. (And mah dudes compliment me all the time. Which doesn’t hurt my rapidly-becoming-overblown-ego any.)

     Admittedly, there’s still the fear that by leaving Lubbock and the county job that I’ve condemned myself to Subway slavery for all eternity. This, however, I banish with the knowledge that your life is what you make of it. If I choose to stay there, (which I won’t), then I stay. However…I have a lot of motivation to move to Washington.

     One of those motivational thoughts is my Spartan. It’s amazing how someone can be on your mind for years, literally, and one day you figure "What the hell…I’ll try finding them on Myspace." …and you find them. And you message them. And they’re happy to hear from you. Like…very happy. Like…they’ve been thinking of you as much as you have of them…for the past seven years.
     Gordon is the only ex-boyfriend I’ve ever had with whom I parted amiably. We just decided we were better friends, and reamained friends even after we broke up. He moved away, and even though I heard from him about two years later, I never heard anything after that. (My mother cleaned the top of the freezer where all of the phone numbers were, and subsequently, I lost the number he’d given me.) Well…I ended up with my most recent ex, and just let the idea of Gordon drift away. Not…far, I admit. I always wondered how he was, where he was, who he was with…and I always hoped that he thought fondly of me, and was happy. Well, I gave in to a random urge in late November and looked for him on Myspace. Lo and behold…there he was, living in Washington and looking healthy and happy. I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a message, and I figured that he’d send back a "Yeah, whatever," and I’d have killed another one of my daydreams to ground myself in reality.
     Instead…he was thrilled. Like…asking me to write back, wanting to know what I was doing, how I was, who I was with, where was I…etc. We exchanged that glorious MSN messenger information, and I stayed up for hours one night talking to him. We talked about everything we’d been doing, and he kept jokingly asking me to move up. The more we talked over the weeks, the more we talked about the past, present and future. Turns how…he’d been thinking of me even harder than I’d been thinking of him. I found pictures of us from a Renaissance Faire while I was cleaning my room, and mentioned it online. He said "Yeah, I love those pictures. I’ve got them right here." I nearly fell over. He even mentioned his favorite, and described it so accurately…I knew he really -did- have the pictures right there. It might just be a daydream that I’m basking in, but he said he loved me when he was 15 and that his feelings haven’t changed. I keep thinking how everything seems to be aligning, and I want to just…I don’t know. Shriek. Swoon. Squeal. Run in useless circles…He’s seen recent pictures (like taken a week ago) and called me beautiful. *blushes* It’s so hard to verbalize it…(for me no less)…but I keep thinking this might be one of those dreams the gods let you have.

     And now, after having swooned, purred, giggled and bounced around, I must zip off to play more Guitar Hero II, so that I may pwn Ninja at the stupid game later (not likely: he’s awesome at it. Just means I’ll have to bite him again. ^_~) So yeah…*squeal!* …even if nothing comes of this, and he’s only saying "I love you" out of an old adolescent fondness…the worst fear I’ve ever had is to leave no impression on people. Knowing that he remembers me, and very well, and that I meant something to him (and still do, apparently…)…I can say I’ve been happier in my life, but really…not by much. Between my Spartan, mah dudes (‘specially mah Ninja, who is very cuddly and warm, by the way. ^_~) and the excitement coming from developing my own life…(like helping the guys set up their own place {where I even get to pick the closet I keep spare clothes in} to move out on their own)…hell, I don’t have time to breathe, and I like it this way. *random hugs ’round* And now I’m off to Guitar Hero until I can’t feel my fingers, dash to the CbN Vampire game, and then work eaaaaaaaaaaaarly in the morning! "Pan’s Labyrinth" comes out this Friday and all of us are going! WOOT!!! (Go see the movie! It looks fucking AWESOME!!!)

     Fond breezes follow you all!