Weekends from hell…

As much fun as weekends can be, in religious households weekends at home should be banned! I was at school this weekend and I wasn’t with my class at all, I was with my 2 close friends’ (od and cher) class! I mean, I feel a little bad about it, as I did at the time but I wasn’t gonna screw up my shabbos just for them…You know, its really funny when you think about it…we were having an argument about halacha and I was arguing the more strict side as being the right one…lol…I guess cuz I can’t argue the opposite of whats written in books if thats what they’re going by…even if I don’t believe it, thats whats right according to the books and laws that they live their lives according to… Now notice, I said they-not me…yes, i’ve basically made my final decision…I won’t live a life with blinders on, I won’t live the life of a blind man pretending he can see…I will not live a religious life while not having answers to my questions as opposed to other people that feel that even if they don’t know the answers they should spend their lives living that way whether looking for them or not…is it just me or does it seem a little retarded to live an unfulfilled life according to other peoples dictations even when they don’t make any sense…? Why do people tell me that its ok, not everyone has the answers but I should do it anyways until I find them…shouldn’t I wait till I find them to start doing them? I dunno…it just doesn’t make sense to me…and I really want it to…so why does it make sensse to them?