Wanted,unwanted or just up for grabs…?

Isn’t having someone want you just about the best feeling in the world? knowing that even though you don’t like yourself very much, someone else out there knows you and likes you for who you are and for what they know of you…and when it gets screwed up or you find out some backstage information, dosn’t it just make you feel like shit…?

Ok,my best friend Rhonda went out with this guy named Yoav…got it? He was really into her but she decided she just wanted to stay friends…I started talking to him…phone conversations, sms and stuff(he already knows me…we went out as a group a couple of times) and last night he told me he wants to go out with me…also that hes attracted to me and wants to kiss me…I am somewhat attracted to him, intillectually especially and I would like to kiss him…not becuz its him but becuz i’ve been dying to kiss someone ever since the story with Dave…so that leaves going out with him…do I want to? I have no clue…i’d kind of decided that i’ll go out with him at least once to see how things go but then of course something gets screwed up…hey fates, where ya been? my life hasn’t been hellish enough lately…i’ve missed you…goddamn the fucking fates to hell! Theres a guy thats interested in me for me(physically too!!), likes the fact that i’m intelligent, I have a great time talking to him…hes very intellligent himself, he doesn’t look half bad and hes not a “fanatic” and Rhonda had a huge fight with him and now I feel that theres no way I can go out with him becuz shes my best friend and I have to stand by her…how do you tell your best friend that you think they were insulted by something only becuz they’re so used to having people run after them that when someone decides to give up on them, it pisses them off…?! How do you tell your best friend that you are jealous of the fact that guys always want her and theres finally one guy that wants you and shes basically screwing up what little chance you have to try things out with him…? How do you admit to your best friend that your jealousy for her is not malicious but still, its jealousy…you wish you had the ability to make people want you like she does but then again you dont want people to hurt her like they do…How do you tell your best friend that you feel sorry for her and are jealous of her becuz of the saim traits…that what gives her that upper hand is what eventually makes her fall harder…?!