Two weeks to the day…

Since we tied the knot. Yep, that’s it. I’ve done it. I am now an old married woman.

It’s going to be hard. It’s going to be very, very, very hard. He has 3 kids with his ex wife and they live by her, but due to her extreme lack of financial responsibility ,chances are they will end up coming to live with us. I love him more than anything and I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made; not for one second. But I am scared, i’ll tell you that.

Everyone’s saying how they were hoping we would have a year to put things together before her screw ups interfered but now it doesn’t even look like we’ll have that much time. I’m scared of what it means to be a full time mommy to 3 kids who have already been affected by the divorce and who are extremely attached to their mother. I’m afraid they’ll resent their father because they’ll think he took them away from mommy, which would kill him, and i’m scared they’ll resent me for being there instead of her – and i’m scared that all of that will rip us apart.

I’m scared that I won’t know what to do and that even when I do know, it won’t matter.

I thought I would have more time for them to adjust to us being a couple and really being together, but now i’m not so sure.

I’m just scared that I won’t be good enough for it…