The scary monster, me…

Yep, its great to know, isn’t it…? The scary monster…thats how my supposed “friends” see me…and thats how they’ve seen me for the past 4 years…I always knew they didn’t accept me the way they(group of classmates) accepted Rhonda but I never thought it was this deep…I found out this weekend that they can’t stand me, actually they hate me…and why?? because I scare them…if it didn’t make me cry it might’ve actually made me laugh…they’re scared of ME…me?!?! scared? of me? i’m sorry…I dont really understand…how do I scare them? do I threaten them? do I hurt them? do I try to hurt them purposely? do I do anything in my power to try and scare them? do I do anything subconsciously to scare them? did I ever do anything to make them feel like they were dirt the way they do to me? It hurts so much…why do they make me feel like such a bad person? why do they make me feel like the whole world hates me? why can’t there be a person in the world that makes me feel like i’m loved? that makes me feel like a real person? that makes me feel human,wanted and maybe even just a little bit connected…