Pointless…
Writing here used to make me feel better, as if i’d let it all out and it wouldn’t be weighing on my heart. What made it stop? Maybe i’m growing up…growing past the illusion that the people here can compensate for the lack of “real” people to talk to. I don’t know. All I know right now, is that I never dreamed that at the age of 18 i’d be dividing my time between going to work and taking care of my family. Hell, I don’t even want a family. I’ve wanted to live alone for as long as I can remember and now some sense of familial obligation is holding me captive. Why can’t I shake it? I’m the non-religious one in the household, the non-caring bitch that doesn’t have the same virtues of goodness and honesty yet i’m the only one still here, still helping. So what does that say about what religion does to you? I’ve claimed to be religious about one thing and one thing only-what I want and how to make it happen but watching everything deteriorate in the house keeps me back. So here I am, 18, alone and capable of doing anything I want except pulling myself free to do it…
Maybe you are not religious, but you are evidently a lot more SPIRITUAL than the others in your family. You do the right thing and from what you said, they don’t. So whether or not you go to church or believe in God, you’re being a lot more “god-like.” It’s not easy being a caring person when you feel you’re the only one who is. Weesprite
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People on here only know whatever you choose to write, so they really can’t compenstate for a close friend who is around you at least 12 hours a day (Or less, depending on the depth of the relationship you share with said friend) Hero’s always save the day, no?
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I’m betting that was a rhetorical question. Myself (this applys only to me, and my esoteric little chunk of existance) that we do what we need to do to gain redemption. I know, redemption is usually a religious theme but the perk is, it’s a needed value. We need to have a reason, or we feel pointless. That can lead to self-destruction. Suicides wouldn’t happen if there was a reason to live
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I can relate 🙂 I’m thinking of ya!
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