Not sure where I stand…

So, life…what exactly is there to say about it? It’s here…that much I know for sure…other than that, though? You’ve got me…! At times I feel like all the weight thats resting on my shoulders is there because I don’t have enough courage to stand up to my parents and shrug it off but then I look at my mother and see what she’s going through, see what my grandmother’s going through, how my younger siblings are dealing with all of this and realize that I can’t…no matter how much I want to, I can’t shrug it off…So that brings me back to the question that’s been plaguing me for the past 5 months…how do I cope? Trying to work, save money for college, help my parents out financially(since my mother’s paycheck which was twice as large as my father’s hasn’t come in for the past 4 months since her hospitalizations), keep the house liveable, try and help my siblings out and hell- try and help myself out. I feel like a broken record lately, one of my closest friends told me she’s sick of talking to me because she’s sick of hearing about how bad things are. “Why can’t you just look at the good things,” she asks…The trouble is, i’m having a really hard time figuring out what they are and if they even exist at the moment? It’s like everything that can happen-is and even stuff I never thought of-are…I know this is all i’ve been doing lately, complaining about my life and how things are at home but I just can’t get past it…I don’t know what to do…I’m being crushed under the weight of it all and if I don’t find something to pull me up, i’m going to be buried…