And once again…

I’ve let myself down…

My entire life people have been telling me how smart I am and that whatever I go for and want, I can achieve…yea, well I have one thing to say to those fuckers…HAHA…cuz thats what I just got…I got a laugh, I got a joke…I got one big fucking joke…the most important test which basically decides what course my life takes is the joke…I thought it went so well but guess what people? I have bad test taking skills…but that doesn’t help me with anything…you know what? I’ll go to the colleges or army and say, excuse me I really am smart, I just have bad test taking skills so will you let me in anyways? Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t get a horrible grade…i’m still smarter than about 80% of the people that took the test but noone notices the 80%, they only notice the 20% thats better…and I thought i’d be in that 20%…I really really did…I even thought i’d be in the 15% or 10%…I didn’t think i’d be so low down on the list…I might be too low down on the list for what I want to study…I might be too low down on the list to be accepted…I might just not be good enough…well, it wouldn’t be the first time…I guess I should just stop deluding myself, huh guys?