Broken mess.

Put on a brave face, don’t let them see you cry for crying is a sign of weakness. Keep your head up, smile, leave your tears for the pillow, no one likes a cry baby. Why are you crying? You’re 13, there is nothing for you to cry about you’re barely starting in life. Keep your head up, fix your posture, look presentable, no one wants to see a broken mess. You need to be strong, you cannot afford to show any weakness or this world will eat you alive. 6 years later and it all remains the same yet things change day by day. WHY ARE YOU CRYING? LOOK AT YOU, YOURE A MESS, YOU’RE SO WEAK AND I CANNOT STAND THE SIGHT OF YOU. WE. ARE. OVER. I need a woman not some broken mess who cannot contain their emotions. Save your tears for the pillow, there’s no need to cry in front of me because that wont change how I feel. Look at you, you look pathetic and you’re so needy. No wonder no one ever stays, no one likes a broken mess.  23 years old and all you can afford to do is break down at every chance you get. Who cares if you’ve felt more loss than most people or if everyone uses you? They look at you and see kindness and nothing else. You’ve become so weak that it’s easy for them to take what they need without feeling guilty because they know that you will give and give even when you have nothing left to give yourself. You drink to numb the pain and on a few occasions question your existence on earth. Will anyone notice or are you that broken that no one will care? “You poor broken mess” I tell myself as I take one final breath.