What a rude awakening!

I finally fell asleep around 4 a.m.  I was rudely awakened by the very obnoxious sound of a chainsaw right outside my lanai door.  This man.  My partner works outside.   He grows everything.   I have never met someone with such a green thumb.  If a plant is dead, he gives it life.  I just wish he wouldn’t do it at 7 in the morning.  Right outside my door.  In his defense, he had no reason to believe that I was not awake.   I make sure everything is locked up neat and tidy before I sleep.   Curtains shut and doors locked,   it is impossible to know what I’m doing or if I’m awake.  Fortunately, he is such an understanding guy that when I have a talk with him about this later it will not turn into an argument.

I have to get up early in the morning.  I have a final neurology appointment to attend.  That appointment is the one of two things standing between me and being able to go back to work.  I have been on temporary disability now for almost 4 months.  The other thing is my primary doctor.  She likes to wrap stuff up in a tidy little bow.  She keeps extending my time off and she and I are in a disagreement of sorts.  I am never going to get better until I go back and work.

Yeah, temporary disability provides funds.  But substantially lower than my usual pay checks from work.  My primary has released me for July 1st.  Tomorrow I will ask the neurologist to release me.  I hope it works.  But things rarely work out that way.

I was stupid and drinking.  The drinking was not the primary cause to my illness, but definitely contributed.  I was drinking and not eating.  Anything.  With this surgery, it is highly important to keep up on vitamins and proteins and such.  Well, that is with anybody, actually.

So, I would be lying in bed and feel a sugar drop and suddenly realize…hm, I actually forgot the last time I ate.  Sometimes, I would just get up and head for another drink.  Other times, I would grab a quick something from the cupboard just to get my sugar up.  My partner began to notice this.

I worked every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday 12 hour night shifts.  And I couldn’t love it better.  No management and such.  I would sober up long enough to do those shifts and start all over again.  I knew there was a definite problem when I returned back to work one Friday.  One of my co-workers asked me if I was ok.  Because I was not acting like myself.  I knew I hadn’t been drinking that day.  But I did just remember, i had not eaten since i had gotten off of work that last Monday morning.   My coworker grabbed the blood sugar machine and sure enough my sugar had bottomed.  It was 41 that evening.  I ate so much that night I thought I might explode my belly.  It was not funny at all.

That was actually the beginning of my work woes.  That is another story.   I will get to it shortly.  In another post.

Back to this current medical issue.  All of this, every bit of this, it is all my fault.  I was drinking way to much and not eating appropriately.  I would go 2 and 3 days without eating.  One day, I woke up, and literally could not feel my feet, hands, abdomen, and parts of my thighs.  I just couldn’t feel them.  I thought that surely I slept wrong and my body had fallen asleep like when your leg falls asleep.  I got up and made it to the bathroom but I knew something was terribly wrong.

And, still, I am a nurse and I will google myself to death one day.  I sat on this for two weeks.   I kept it under wraps.  Literally.   I wrapped my abdomen with ace wraps in order to be able to work.  Because, not only could I not feel it, but it was causing me pain.  My legs and hands, also.

I had been put on day shift for other reasons.   The very first day I was to work day shift, I clocked in, received report and took over the med cart.  I was able to do only one med pass and i was in such intense pain i locked my cart and called my boss.  I absolutely could not stand it any longer.  I left work and I haven’t been back since.

I got ahold of my doctor and was in the office the very first thing that next morning.   The scolding for not coming sooner and 11 tubes of blood taken later and I went back home to wait.

Results start coming in.  The next morning my doctor calls.  She and another doctor in the network decided that I needed to get  over to the hospital and be directly admitted. The only one thing normal was my zinc level.  Everything else was very abnormal.

My partner took me to the hospital.   They checked me in and IV’s were started and I was diagnosed with malnourishment.   So, so, so my fault.

Covid was in full swing at this time.  Rooms were limited.  I was lying there trying to get wi-fi for my kindle when they put a roommate in with me.  It was a male roommate.  I didn’t even know that was possible.   I called my nurse and asked her if he was going to be staying and she explained to me the room situation and blah blah blah.  I was not staying there.  That was too uncomfortable for me.

I was finally able to contact my doctor and after the IV’s were completed, I called my partner and he came and picked me up.  AMA.  Which meant that I was footing the bill for this one.

I have grown stronger.   I finally quit drinking.  I am eating.   I can walk.  After I went home that day, I had several falls.  I was driving back and forth to get vitamin shots and see my doctor weekly.  They took so much blood.  No longer walking with a walker.  No more shower chair.  Pain is minimal because of the med that I take.  When the doctor heard that the medicine was helping me but I was still having numbness she doubled the medicine.  I can feel my abdomen.  My feet are still somewhat numb but I can feel them.  I am ready to work.  I cannot stand this.   I had dropped 40 pounds in a month.  I have gained 10 of those back and my doctor didn’t even blink an eye.  She would like for me to gain another 10 and then maintain.   We will see.  I really don’t like eating too much.  But, eat, I will.  Sometimes it comes right back up.  I push on.

After this lengthy post, it is time for an egg and I have to conquer the morning medicine.  That is breakfast right there.