Something he said…
First off, this. The guys went for our weekly shopping trip to Costco today. I swear that at some point in his life, my partner did without. Without many things, food being right there at the top. Since he has been living with me, we have had to purchase a very huge stand-up freezer and a chest type freezer. Because he is insistent on shopping Costco every week.
This is what I do when they leave. I go over to mom’s for coffee and we gab. Apparently, at 4 in the morning, her little doggie (she use to be my doggie) started growling and barking and jumping off and on her bed. I had taken benadryl to try and sleep and probably knocked off at around 3. So i was out and did not hear her. Mom let her out and she came barking at my door. Makes me suspicious of if there was someone out there. And I gotta stop with the benadryl. It makes me sleep too hard.
I haven’t heard back from either one of my doctors today. My mom says it’s less than 2 weeks, just take these last days off, she says. After the Costco trip, my account is drained until my temp disability posts on Saturday. But all my Bill’s are paid up and we got food so I’m not gonna worry until time to pay more Bill’s starting on the 3rd.
This is what I don’t like about this disability stuff. Before, I did not have to worry and now, I do. I sound so incredibly foolish and pampered or whatever. And then I start to feel really bad because so many have no roof, no food, no nothing. I wish I could give it all to them. Shoot, if one of my friends or family said hey, can I stay with you until I can get on my feet? I wouldn’t ask any questions. This house is huge. Over 5000 square feet. Before my landlady and her husband had it, there was a commune of what they called “hippies” that owned it. They had 17 people living here. This is why I believe we keep finding buddha statues.
Honestly, though, if someone is in need, I’m there to oblige. My first cousin actually called me not long ago and asked if when she got her tax returns if she, her toddler, and her two sons could fly here and move in here. I honestly thought very long and hard about this.
I had to tell her no. Reason being is she is on meth. I love her with all my heart. We seriously grew up together. The welfare almost gave her to my husband and me. So, i told her “Pay for a round trip for me. I will come over there and do the paperwork necessary and I will bring the kids home with me. You can get it together, get off the meth for good, and then, if can, come get the kids.”
I know that my niece would happily help take care of the baby. And so would the two oldest. Sadly, I think they already do. I’m and advocate for medicinal marijuana. I have not a thing against it. Personally, I don’t use it. My partner does. The point is, I’ve met people currently doing meth themselves and it is not pretty. Nothing like what I’ve seen with marijuana.
She said no. And then went on a tirade and rant on Facebook about how people let you down and blah blah blah and I just told her that I love her very much and in my heart, nothing has changed. I just said call me when you are ready. I sent this to her in a message because i don’t air things on Facebook. I haven’t heard from her since.
This is too long. Ending it and starting over.