Arrrrgh

I live with 4 other people.  My mom, she lives in an attached room.  Her room is big enough to have a small kitchenette.  She has her own microwave, coffee pot, and such over there.  I have coffee with her frequently and she eats her main meals from here in the main house.

My niece.  She has been living with me for 10 years.   That is another bajillion stories.  She is 30 years old.

My partner.   We have been together for almost 4 years and living together for about 3 1/2 years.  He is probably the kindest man I have ever met outside of family.  Yeah, we have differences.  We try to work them out as they come up.  We try not to sit on stuff.  He also had a partner that abruptly left him after 18 years.  We have that in common.   I think this helps us to talk things out.

The biggest rift in our relationship is the last person that lives here.  And the reason I am frustrated right now.

Along about 1 1/2 years ago, my partner came to me and asked me if one of his oldest friends could move in with us because he had become homeless.   The friend lived in Arizona.   We talked about it for a while and I trust my partner and he told me this guy was a nice guy.  That, paired with the fact that I am generally a nice person, made my decision.  I told my partner ok.  It was another month after that decision before he flew here.  First impressions were great, really.

The longer I got to know him, I just felt like something was off.  I know he’s had problems with women in his past.  He once said to me that he believes women to be vindictive and grudge holding and pretty much non trustworthy.   And that is the tip of the iceberg.   He’s completed tours while he was in the air force.  I think 3 of them.  I believe he has issues with that.  Which, I completely get.  I know I could probably never understand the severity of that, I just could not.  I just know he probably went through some shit.

My problem is him.  He is just a sneaky, vindictive, lying person and my partner WILL NOT listen to me.  This is the only major thing that my partner and I do not agree on.  At all.  And lately, it has been causing more and more disagreements between my partner and me.

I am a night owl.  I come out of my room at night to go into the kitchen right beside my room to get water.  I have caught this man standing, in the middle of the night, in the hallway.   Just staring.  I raised this concern with my partner and was shot right down.

“What am I supposed to do?  Tell him he can’t come out of his room at night?” Of course, this is one of the reasons I would just stay in my room all damn day and drink.  My partner was not/is not believing me where this man is concerned.

One night it was warm in my room.  I opened my curtains to get a breeze and he was standing there.  Right outside my room.  When I opened them, he just walked in the kitchen door.  We have a huge lanai out here and two sliding doors go out.  My bedroom door and the kitchen door.   I slept with my lights on that night.

And, still, the partner will not listen.  I had to have my two sons move in for two months because they were between apartments.  They live together for money reasons and my youngest has epilepsy.   (Seizure free for 2 years now, thank the good Lord above and an excellent brain surgeon and team of neurologists.) Well they were here about a month when my youngest came to me and said “Mum, that guy stole my fan”  I really couldn’t believe it.  I asked him if he was sure and he said “Mum, you gotta go try check out his room.  It is right in there.”

So, I waited.  I think I probably actually got good and sloshed,  then I walked by his room and looked in.  Sure enough, there was my son’s fan.  And I waited till the next day and decided to confront him in front of my partner.

Things got heated.  I will admit.  I wasn’t drunk at that time.  My son was standing by my bedroom door.  The man is just yelling nonsense and the next thing I know, he goes to his room and gets the fan and comes barreling up the hallway with it.  One of those huge round fans.  And he doesn’t stop and before I could get in front of my son he shoved the fan into him and slammed him against my bedroom door.

Oh I saw red.  I was between them in an instant.   I told my son to get back to his room and shut the door.  I started to follow him when my oldest son come barreling up the hallway.  He literally threw this guy against the wall and pinned him there and I had to jump between those two because my oldest is a big guy and I didn’t want him to be in a situation where he could be arrested for assault.   we go back to the room and call 911.  My partner comes back there and I yelled at him and told him I want that man out of my house.  His return was “If he goes, I go.” Immediately I replied “Goodbye!”

The officers showed up.  About 6 of them.  They separated the members here and took statements and eventually left.  Come to find out the guy and my son have the exact same fan.  The guy thought that my son took his and he was taking it back.  I call bullshit on that to this day.

I come out of the boys’ room and my partner is sitting there on the floor with his back against the wall looking defeated.  I looked at him and I said f you.  I do not say that word very often.  I went to my room and couldn’t even talk to him for probably two days.

I called my land lady and told her I want him evicted.  Unfortunately, at that time, she couldn’t because of Covid.  There is an eviction moratorium until July 31.  Nobody can be evicted.

Right now though.  I have been leaving my bedroom door open.  There are reasons.  When I turn and look through my door my dining room table is right out there.  I turned around earlier because my kitty was scratching at my bed and I am trying to discipline her to stop.  When I turned around I caught him standing there staring right in at me.  Of course he averted his eyes as soon as he knew I was looking.

I seriously want this man gone.  Even if it means my partner goes too.