Chaos and Cupcakes

I’ve been meaning to write. No, really; I have!  I think about it often, especially late at night when the <insert mental struggle of choice> seems to be most debilitating. I try to blame the chaos of the bakery and, while it does tend to consume my life, I do admit that I could find the time to devote to writing if I so desired.

It’s far easier to blame cupcakes than to delve in to my mental stability, y’all. Trust and believe.

Busy season has decended upon us me and I can’t seem to find time to breath- catering, keto, baked goods. The customers call my cell phone, message my Facebook…they have all my information and they use it at all times of day, 7 days a week. They lack boundries. I appreciate the loyalty to my brand/product, but home girl needs some down time. I have tried to set some boundaries and some people have seriously went 50 shades of cray. I think I need to tattoo #notwalmart on my forehead. I’m all for superb customer service, but…c’mon.

Unfortunately, ever since my time in the clink, I do not deal well with confrontation nor do I do well with standing up for myself. I am an excellent business woman in a lot of ways, but apparently I suck at setting boundries and saying no because I cannot handle the backlash. I’ve faced some online controversy since my return home that involved some pretty horrific threats and comments…and I am petrified of it happening again. As a result, I struggle with boundries. Because I struggle with boundries,  I am forced to work more, I stress more, my anxiety is increased and migraines have become a 3-5 day a week ordeal. It all sucks. A lot.

My physician has me on a max dose of migraine preventative, has prescribed medication for breakthrough migraines, and is starting me with the clinics chiropractor Friday. Last visit he told me I needed to be more Gordon Ramsay and just tell folks to fuck off. Easier said than done! Ha ha.

This entry is putting me to sleep. It is past my bedtime , y’all. Pastry chf hours aren’t for the weak. 😩😫