About Face…

I’m not perfect; far from it really. My flaws are bountiful and by that I set my physical traits aside and refer to emotional/behavioral traits only.  I can admit that I am discourteous or crass at moments and occasionally sink to being manipulative, deceptive and unreliable. I am often an emotional rollercoaster: brazen tears or a fiery temper. Intermittently I lie and while the majority of my lies are a feeble attempt of avoiding the subjection of hurt or pain to someone, they are lies none the less. I make assumptions, I like to gossip and am every now and again I am the pot stirrer of a drama fest.
I never claimed my true colors were pretty!
Recently I have discovered many other imperfections in my being; characteristics that people claim are admirable and praise worthy. I have ascertained that “goodness” and “kindness” don’t get me far in life just as self sacrifice for the gratification of others does nothing but permanently imprint a big SUCKER sign on my forehead. My relentless faith in humanity leads me to do unto others and to provide unto others but yet? Every moment of kindness is mistaken for a sign of weakness.  Every gift given is a representation of what I am worth and emphasizes to others what they should take. I could go on and on but in all fairness to my readers, I’ll withstand. I confess to you all that I am tired and I am weary. I am physically and emotionally drained. I am hurt, frustrated, disappointed, offended, wounded…shall I continue?
There seems to be no restrictions on thievery, manipulation, or deception these days. The “users” in my life extend way beyond your everyday stranger; they come in all shapes, colors and forms. I have colleagues that I provided child care for and never received a thank you for, let alone any form of reimbursement.  Then there is the colleague whose son needed a job so my husband hired him; in the end it affected me negatively financially and now I am the target of harsh judgement.  There is family who thinks that they are entitled because of blood, friends who believe they are the center of the universe and, well, the list is just unrelenting. I just cannot cope with the obscurity any further!!
And the point moral of my long winded rant? No more Misses Nice Girl! I am done! Finished! Over it! At least until next time…
 
Yeah… I was over with my rant half way through. *lol* I started petering out somewhere around the word recently. Haha.
 
In other news, my “Life Changing Moment” is going exceedingly well! For those of you who are unaware of my “Life Changing Moment” this “Life Changing Moment” started July 1st when I visited a weight loss doctor in attempts to regain control of my weight, my health and my life!! While 4 days is nothing to brag about to some… to me, the world’s worst dieter EVER, it is quite the accomplishment! Even more so considering I am four days done and four pounds gone! Woot! Granted I have the assistance of adipex-p but I am hoping that is just the boost my metabolism needs. I need CHANGE!! Besides, this little diet venture could prove quite profitable to me! The hubby has promised $100 per 10 ibs lost and $1,000 once I hit my goal weight; that equates to approximately $1,900! Yeee! I have been searching for prime skinny clothes online but keep wandering to the Dooney & Burke purses and have picked out one that is just perfect for my collection. *sigh* Decisions, decisions!
I had all intent to write a long entry, but I am pooped! I still need to go log my calories and such, so I am out. At least until next time!