Thoughts

definitely been having thoughts, just not enough time to complete them! so odd thoughts–yesterday’s was "do we send our young men to war, like the Mormon’s sent the young men on missions–to clear the field for the old men?" (ducking rocks thrown from all the Mormons)

another odd thought, "what do I want to do with the rest of my life?" I mean I could retire this year, but I am not mentally prepared for it. (nor financially, but that is another story) I have been so INTO working, 9 hours a day, or more, driving there, driving back, work though lunch sometimes. working. and then retire? and do what? so its a mind flip. I have not been able to wrap my head / thoughts around "retirement".

over the weekend I dug in the ground on west side of my house. I am digging up the grass and the old scattered flag stones there. some of them are higher by several inches then the others. who ever put it in didn’t do it right. so digging through grass is not easy. I got most of path dug up–about 10 ft. still need to do the rounded future second "patio" area. and I ache enough to let it rest for now. I also helped my daughter muck out the stalls at the barn over holiday. I have given up on her volunteering to help me with yard work. it seems my lesson to learn, is Do it Yourself!. and I am.

which brings me to the other thought. "living my live, finding My path–not my daughters. Oh I have totally enjoyed the horses over the past 3 years, and hope to continue to do so. it is very relaxing being with them. and I hope I can ride more also. but what is MY path now. not Wendy’s. Mine. (this is connected to what do I want to do with rest of my life) I’ve raised my kids, done the work world, lived through my daughter, Now for me. hmmm. what? me?

well time to think on it, as I have already decided to work another year, at least.

and speaking of work, I have to get ready and go.

have a sunshiny day you all!