morning thoughts

Mornings are sometimes just waking up a bit more, and my thoughts run to odd things. This am, I was remembering past events in my life, childhood things. It seems to me we all have such memories, things only we remember. Things that have stuck in our minds for better or worse. Things that are not shared with family or friends as they are just not on the conversational list. I guess you could say, "once when I was a child, I remember … that Rodger and I fought to the point that he gave me this small scar on my face. But we were best friends. He taught me how to ride a bike. … he was probably my first "boyfriend". we moved away when I was 10 and I never saw him again." or "my sister didn’t mail a letter I wrote (when I was 11) to my current heart throb. at the time I was really mad at her. now I see she was protective of me. Hind sight really is 20-20. sometimes it takes 20 years to realize something. like when I was in college and one of my good friends called me up and asked my "permission" to date an x boyfriend (someone I loved to distraction, the first man I had sex with) I could not figure out why she did this, until years later I realized it was a dig. This same friend also dated my other girlfriends x boyfriend–again, someone she loved to distraction (not her first). It took years to put it together. adding in how competitive this woman was in other things…yep, had to prove herself worth by dating other peoples lovers. At this point I realize she was never "my friend".

well enough of memories from the past

today is Tuesday, leaving for work in a few min. Yes I am still working at my age. as many people over 65 are. Money is tight, don’t know if I will ever be able to "afford" to retire. and I am not yet ready to live in poverty. sigh.

I painted my kitchen and dining room a nice blue on Saturday (course my hands and back hurt the next day) arthritis in my hands even makes typing this hurt at times… there is no such thing as the "golden years"

But I have a good life. I am good at what I do, I help others deal with life and that’s rewarding. I have started riding horses again. slowly over the past few years I have gotten past my pain. (long story) Starting to look forward to actually riding again. I have a oil painting started. I will be flying to Texas end of the month to share in my grand daughters 6th birthday. I read books that I enjoy. I have pets –dogs and cats to hug on. My daughters love me. My oldest grandson stays in touch. He will be starting his 2nd year in college, in Arizona.

so stay focused on what is right in your life, and have a good day my friends