end of the year stuff

This is the time to be Jolly and nice, so why do I feel so mad and grumpy? As I woke up this AM, I realized the past year has been a total bitch. my middle daughter was out of work for a third of the year, and the job she got was low paying and a miserable company to work for. the better jobs are still on hold it seems. her second had truck has broken down twice and ended up costing close to 2,000 more. My son stopped talking to me, won’t respond to emails, cell phone calls, etc last time I saw him was mothers day and that was cause I went to him. (that’s a long story and won’t go into it here) but the result is that I have not seen my grandsons since last Christmas. my son and his wife invited me over for dinner and present exchange. my youngest daughter and grand daughter moved (with her husband) to south Carolina . the promotion at work that was all but promised to me was given to someone younger. the water heater broke and flooded my carpets, (but insurance covered it with only 800 out of pocket :) My cost of living has gone up and up and no money to bring it down and I’m worried about how the heck can I afford to retire in 2years (when I’m 67?) yeah, a miserable year all in all.

on other hand, I got my eyes fixed and now my teeth, which is part of the financial burden I will be paying on for quite awhile. but guess I’m really glad I have insurance or could not have done it. I have a nice home (been in it for a year) I’m warm, fed, clothed. I have a job and it does help others. My dad is still alive. Have a new kitten in the house the is a delightful ball of energy. so far all the bills are paid, or at least the installments. I put Christmas on the credit card. hate that. but did it.

so, yeah. it has been a year of loss for me. both family and money and though I survive, I am made and grumpy. Was this year supposed to be some sort of lesson in life? If I understood Astrology better maybe I could say well, Uranus is till in my 4th house. (upsets in the home life) ..currently moving into an in conjunct with mars…. in conjunct is more forced change. … Jupiter has been in 4th all year, but moving out, its on a twine to Saturn, delays, responsibilities (blah!) and it will move on to twine Venus (more money!–I’ve given up on love), But right now there is transit Pluto with mars and Mercury all hand and hand with the king pin of disruption! and that’s in everyone’s chart today. where it is and how it affects you, IF it affects you….is your pain. my chart has it in my second house of money, movable possessions, and values. the thing that activates it is it is square my natal Neptune. (of dreams and illusions) but what does that really mean??? in real life ??? that is the unknown. maybe I subconsciously block what it means, Pluto then destroyer, that breaks things down so they can be rebuilt, with mars of energy and mercury of thoughts, words… square, tension push comes to shove…Neptune … my dreams . ouch.

well isn’t that a nice review…I’ll be glad to see the backside of this year. .. Jupiter will move into my 5th house of creativity for next year. maybe I can get excited about my art work again. an increase in fun stuff with Jupiter there, at least.

but there are 10 other planets all circling my world… its not easy to predict what happens

so

Wendy , middle daughter, spent weekend making cookies for Xmas’s gifts, course that cost me another 200 in supplies!! god when did cooking stuff get so expensive! would have been cheaper to buy everyone a 10 dollar gift! I hope they appreciate the time, effort and yes the COST of home made cookies!

ok, I’m grumpy!!!

one thing I have found that helps pull me out, is in am when I wake up and have all these worry thoughts waking me up. I ground myself, and run positive energy. and do a mental circle in my head calling on the 4 guardian angels, and then settle into some positive thoughts…. works for a bit.

and then I move into my day and let go of the negative… that works too, distractions.

well you all have wonderful holiday season… and let us hope the new year comes up roses, with no thorns…