04/28/2011

Its been awhile since I have been on; just had a dry spell, I guess. Life does go on though, despite where we are daily. I just spent a wonderful week in south Carolina with my youngest daughter and my grand daughter. flew down to Atlanta Georgia, where she picked me up. she has friends there so she got to visit them also. we spent the night there and visited the huge aquarium there. it was fantastic. walking under the fishes at times! huge fish, er small whales, and down to snails and funky sea horses. really great .

drove down to SC in after noon. we spend two days in two different beaches there. the first one was a rainy day and the waves were crashing in. magnificent. loved it. got a lot of seashells too. the next day ,different beach, and the sun was out. and so were all the people. but it was good too. we are developing out sand castle building skills though. the last one was quite magnificent, if I must say.

I found walking in the waves very seductive , it is just mildly lapping at ankles and then you are drawn deeper and deeper, …. luring you out to the beyond… but with grand daughter in hand I resisted and stuck to what she could handle. love her giggles.

my daughter is the best mom , she gets down on her heels and talks to her daughter, explaining ahead of time what is going to happen and is she has a problem she gives her choices, either we do this, or we do that. if she is crying, there is a reason, and she has to stop and talk about what it is, so a solution can be found. mind you , it is not giving in, it is explaining. or choices. you can have this or that, we are going here and then there. and if a stop at the child playground is promised it is delivered on.

On the other hand my son in law is not a good father. I think he doesn’t know how to be a father. he expects a 3 yr old to be an adult in some ways, that she plans things… and he yells at her, and then expects a hug. he just doesn’t get it.

Does any mother in law like their child’s’ spouse? I’m thinking back to various ones, and find I did like my youngest daughters first husband. but that was it. out of all the people my adult children have dated and married, only one. and that was not a close relationship. but I’m sure there must be some mother in law , somewhere, that likes her child’s spouse….

which brings me to reflect on my grandchildren, which a grand parent has no control over how they are raised. frustrating really. you see the mistakes that you learned over you life time, but if you say something it is ignored, poo pooded, or rejected. usually. bottom line, you raised your kids, they are raising theirs. I don’t know why they marry the people they do, or why they then raise kids the way they do. … especially when it is not how I think it should be ….one of life’s mysteries. I guess it is in that each child is an individual, and even raised in the same family, they grow up differently, different personalities, different needs and desires. each on their own path, doing what they want to do to make it thought life.

and I am very proud of my kids, they have turned out really well. oh they have their issues, as we all do, but in general they are good kids, and good adults. they care. they are compassionate. they love, laugh, cry, and go on.

So I am back to my trip, a wonderful memory now. flew back Tuesday, over the top of the bad weather–tornadoes that were tearing though Arkansas and moving into Georgia. flew back in time, and landed in Colorado where it is 40 degrees colder. spent yesterday catching up in my life here. remembering what it was I was doing before I left, cleaning house, reconnected in this life

went out in evening with my middle child, my older daughter. and watched her horses run.  she turned two of them out in pasture to exercise themselves.  so watched the sun set behind them as they floated in the air, dancing on the breeze… lovely.

today I go back to work and reconnect there, totally back into the drama of life. its one year, 8 months before I can retire. and don’t know if I can afford to do so… my on going theme… I will trust the Divine on that, what happens, happens. I have found that worrying about things you can’t change only makes you anxious and distressed. so I let go and move on with today. doing what I can each day.

love and light to you all.