The Truth About A Lot of Things

For close to three weeks I had absolutely no energy. I would wake up feeling like I needed to sleep for another ten hours. No amount of coffee or time would cure it. I was sleeping mostly solid at night. But all day no matter where or why, I could put my head down at any moment and go to sleep. It made anything required of me more than taking care of the littles too much to bare. At first I thought it was trying to catch up from 4 days in Vegas, but even after a week it wouldn’t let up. So at my last psychiatrist appointment (not therapist) we talked about it, and she determined that I could not stay on the 100mg of antidepressant. She said that she was hopeful putting me back on 50mg would not be harmful because I have been on the medicine for a particular amount of time and should already be correcting things. I was scared but agreed because I have to be able to function. She said it would take 4-6 weeks to know for sure, but right now I am not sure this is what I needed either. 

Maybe I am jumping to conclusions too quickly. But I know I felt myself slipping last week, and yesterday was bad, but today is worse. Today I am officially depressed and I just feel like everything is intruding on me. I don’t like the way it feels. We have a showing at  5 and I am planning on not being here because I don’t want to wrangle my children, and I am tired of people needing me, especially people I don’t even know. Intrusive. This whole process feels intrusive. 

I want to escape and I am so happy to be doing it this weekend. While our open houses are going on, we will be taking one of our last weekend tours of Southern California. Before we say goodbye to Beach Sunsets, we are having a beach day, and dinner on the pier where we can really have a good view. Sunday, I’m not sure about, but I am determined to emerse myself in the happiness that my family brings. 

The way I feel right now, you would think it is going to kill me to help Salem with her homework. God, I am so tired of feeling like this. I just want to be better.

 And then there is Georgia. Scott’s superior made an announcement to the entire office that he will be transferring to the Atlanta office, so I guess that means it’s official! Unfortunately the department they wanted him apart of launches Monday, and we won’t be there by then. Once in the Atlanta office though, he will be first considered for an openings in that department. He isn’t happy with his position right now so that is why it is dissapointing to me that he will be going to the other office to do the same job. He assures me that he is fine with it though, so I guess I should be too.  

A lot of people bring up the weather in Atlanta as a point of concern for us. And it really doesn’t bother me at all. I know that in the Summer it will be humid and make it feel hotter than it is, but my "summer" here doesn’t last 3 months, it lasts more like 7, and though we do have bad humidities here and there, most summer days I am dealing with temps 95+ well into October. I am looking forward to real seasons, changing weather, and the occasional snow storm. I have been pregnant twice with temps over 100 degrees for weeks in a row when I am ready to pop, I think I can handle a little heat and humidity from time to time. Plus, it is so expensive to live here, I’ll take it. I don’t know what some of your mortgages are, but we couldn’t find a 2 bedroom apartment in a decent area for less than $1600. The house we lived in with my mom and brothers was $2250 a month. 

I am changing hair colors yet again. =o) Blonde here I come.