06/11/2013
I feel heart broken. There is no reason for it, nothing has changed, and yet there is this despair inside of me that I can’t get rid of. My therapist thinks the move is a trigger, and that even if it is a good stress, it is a stress none the less. I don’t know what I think. I know that I am dreading my bed being empty for the next 4 nights….
Ian just made the goofiest face and I came undone. God I love my children. They save me in my worst moments.
Salem is free for the Summer, however long that may be. I was very emotional last year at the end of kindergarten, which I expected, I did not expect it this year. I was teary eyed the whole drive to school, and the tears were really running down my face as I watched her walk up the drive to school for the last time. It was double edged. Not just the end of this school year, but the end of a chapter of our lives. She will never go to school there again. Which is weird that I feel that way, because in all actuality, I feel like it is neither good or bad. I am very proud of her. She did awesome this year and learned so much. She is reading her very first chapter book for the summer, and this time last year, i don’t even think I would have thought it a possibility. She got awards all three trimesters this year, and her report card today maintained the grades she had all year. I am excited for school in Georgia, because she will be in much better schools, and hopefully have a more devoted teacher. Salem had a total of 3 teachers, and I definitely feel that she was confused by different teaching methods, and was cheated out of having a fully devoted teacher.
Oh my gosh I want to feel whole. I hope there will be a day that I get to feel that way, and that it comes sooner than later.
Awwwwwwwwwwww…and her book bag looks bigger than she is. 🙂 *HUGS*…and that day will come my friend! I’m praying for sooner!!
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I hope you find some inner peace soon! Perhaps once the move is done and you’re all settled you can really start focusing on yourself and getting back to the things you love. Hang in there, sending good vibes your way. *Hugs*
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RYN: Thank you. Seriously. What an awesome picture to have of her…make sure you print it and make a note on the back of what it is!
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