sooo….

I miss Josh. A LOT!

I hate being with him, sleeping next to him, waking up next to him (which is amazing) spending time, cuddling, just being together, and then having to leave him. It sucks. I just want to be with him. I hate this so much. I think it is even worse that I get to see him, because now I am even being greedy about not seeing him for 2 weeks. Ugh. I just hate this whole set up and situation.

The weekend was great. I saw Josh a bunch, we hung out, went to the movies, and just spent time together even if it was just cuddling and watching tv. It rained a lot of the weekend, so I didn’t feel bad about just staying inside for a couple days.

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I am getting my knee surgery this Thursday. Workman’s comp is covering it and paying me because I am off of work. So, its all good I guess.

I can’t eat anything past midnight on Wednesday, and my surgery isn’t until 3 on Thursday!! 3!!! I have to be there at 2 b/c of pre-op stuff and whatever, but I can’t even have a glass of water….yea…it is going to suck. Even though I know you aren’t supposed to have a lot of stuff to eat before you go to bed or whatever, but at 11:30 tomorrow night, I will be drinking a lot of water and eating food so it doesn’t seem like I am starving before the surgery. And I am sure that I will be doped up from the anesethia so, I won’t want to eat after…maybe I’ll lose weight this way..

I am kinda nervous about the surgery, even though its not a big deal, but it is the biggest surgery that I have ever had. So, it is kinda nerve wracking. I don’t want the pain after. I just wish it was the surgery and then pain free the next day. I also don’t want to be couped up in the house for a week.

Nevertheless, this sugery needed to be done, and why not do it on someone else’s dime? At least the problem will be fixed. I just can’t believe that I am 21 and going to have pins in my knees…I guess I feel like I am a little too young.

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My sister and I picked up a bunch of wedding stuff today.
-The rest of my invitations
-Place cards
-Picked out favor boxes
-Ribbon
-Favor items

She plans on helping me do a lot while I am out because of the surgery, b/c I am going to have to work like a madwoman once I get better bc this money situation is not helping the wedding. Josh and I are doing this all on our own. We have a lot that we have to pay for and I was counting on the money from the casino and from the hotel. This is putting a big cramp in our plans. Why does everything have to be so gosh darn expensive?

Well i have been writing this entry for about an hour b/c I get addicted to youtube, as sad as that sounds…so I am going to bed!!

Night night