pain

It has been 5 and a half days since the surgery and I am in more pain than I can stand. I have such a low pain threshold and the meds just aren’t cutting it.

Everytime I get up and go to the bathroom, by the time I get back to the chair I am almost in tears and if I don’t have ice right away I wanna die.

I wish I didn’t get the surgery. I should have just done the physical therapy and then dealt with the problem for the rest of my life.

I am going insane. I am watching more TV than anyone rightfully should. I also am not drinking enough b/c I don’t want to get up and pee. This is so horrible.

I knew it was going to be bad, but I didn’t think it was going to be this bad. I just want to feel better. I want to be able to go to the bathroom without help. I want to get my own food. I want to take a shower for goodness sake. This BLOWS!

I know that with the surgery the problem will be fixed and now I won’t have to worry about my knee dislocating. I know that i had literally had my bone moved and screwed into. I know that my bone was scraped to remove extra cartilidge. I know that it is going to take time to heal, but I am impatient and want to feel better now.

I want to go back to my Internship. I loved it. I had so much fun stuff lined up and now I am just sitting on my ass with pain up the wazoo.

Ugh.

All I want it Josh, and he is 200 miles away. Why can’t we just be together in the same city for a summer? I miss him so much too. I just want to be with him.

Sorry for my whining. I just need to put it somewhere.

I guess its time for more pain meds and the another crappy nights sleep.