Shades of Blue

I’m tired these days.

I toil away with a million thoughts, but it’s been difficult to jot down ideas on paper or on canvas. I’ve taken a rough patch of wood that was a failed attempt at artl… And I’ve turned it into a painting that I’ve been stalling on for far to long. A beautiful girl she is, she has faith in things that she has no proof of. This is something that I can admire… I consider it a quality, but at times I pull agains such degrees of faith.

I need proof, at times where all I can find is emptiness and a lackof.

I miss my old life so terribly, but I don’t think I can ever return to it.

I miss my old friends so much, but I don’t think I’ll ever see them again.

What was once held valuable in my eyes has drifted away, a choice I’ve chosen to make. What I’m left with is a constant emptiness and a thought that I can never remove. I’m trying my hardest to be happy and content, but I don’t think those are emotions that you can force. Its simply there or it isn’t, a fake sense of either is a sense of emptiness and I think that is where I am. Stuck with a sense of emptiness and striving so hard to find a place, somewhere, anywhere to make myself feel worthy of anything more than nothing.

I am the shades of blue.