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There’s a theory called the missing tile syndrome.

It goes like this: Say that a person walks into a pristine art museum decorated with elaborate tiles on its ceiling. Upon looking at the beautiful art strung up on the walls, he or she notices a missing tile on the ceiling. Suddenly, it’s all this person can see despite all the beauty that surrounds them.

When we feel like we’re missing a tile in our life, we covet what others have that we may feel we lack. We focus and agonize over it. Someone who is balding, for example, might spend a good portion of their examining how  others have a full head of hair while they do not. They find themselves dissatisfied because of what they feel they’re missing.

In order to cope with the missing tile in our life, there are a few measures that we can take in order to move forward in life.

The first is that can we can try to get what we’re missing. In the case of someone who is balding, this might be rather difficult so they may resort to the second option which is to forget it. In the second scenario, a person has to simply forget what they feel they’re lacking. They have to stop focusing on what they feel others have and they do not. The last and third option is to replace it. In replacing what we feel we lack, we can try to find a substitute for what we feel we lack. Perhaps a struggling artist may find themselves turning to teaching art rather than selling to fulfill what they feel they’re missing.`

I’ve been on a long journey to either get, forget, or replace what I feel like I’m missing in life, and every time I’ve come close, I’ve always fallen short of contentment. I’ve gotten close.

Truthfully, I don’t think there is a substitution or way to forget loneliness. There is no cure to loneliness except in finding companionship in others. Loneliness in itself has a way of corrupting our thoughts, and I’ve begun to understand why isolated confinement is such a cruel form of punishment. And while I’ve come close to finding companionship in others, my relationship with others have generally failed outside the superficial confines of work. the closest I’ve gotten was the time I spent in London with my sister. That was two years ago. In trying to find companionship to ease my loneliness, I’ve fallen short.

It’s left me at a loss.