Pieces of Blue

That piece of me is returned.

That screaming, howling center that never ceases,
never gives me rest.
I am drawn towards it again.
What am I supposed to do?

When I present the argument and the conflicting sides
I hear
             I don’t know.
                                     as the response. As their "advice".

And I thought of the bridge again. That damned bridge.
The tears, the trucks, the past, being left behind and forgotten.
My brain is full. I need time to digest everything.

But I have no time. I have nothing left.
I have only minutes. Seconds,
passing, blinked away never to come back.

Never will this stupid tragedy stop.
Never will the selfish thoughts be silenced.
All I can see is how my dad’s head involuntarily shakes.
And how slow my mom walks, taking each step with both feet.
And the endurance and pain she will go through forever.
And her naive innocence, being led to slaughter by society.

I don’t want this
                            but I don’t know how to go home.