It is always better, when I act emotionless

My heart is empty. Whenever I show my human side, things always take a troll. My grades start falling. Every word from my family starts to seem like it is aiming at me, at my failure. Their emotions become a burden. It is hard to breathe. When things go down, I shut everything down. I hate it when that happens. Because even though I start succeeding, I as well start not caring about people I care about. That breaks my heart. Because I know that in my instances, I needed someone beside me. When I act like the people around me, I hate it. Because I see it in my third eye. How lifeless they are.