Stuff’n

Aieee caramba.

 

Okay, it snowed.  Biggest snowfall the DC area has had in like 3 years.  We’ve got like 6 or 7 inches.  Nothing compared to what the folks in the NorthEast get all the time, but nothing is moving outside.  Nice and quiet.  Everybody gets to stay home today.

 

the big crap going on right now is the ex.  She’s bitching about the schedule I’ve set up for when to tell the kids, when to have facial feminization surgery (FFS), and when to go full time. 

 

The factors driving my schedule, from my viewpoint are:

1) Sweety and I are tired of this double life, and we need to get things settled so we can move on.  That means sooner rather than later.

2) The kids have summer off from school.  Sweety only has August off from her school. 

3) I think the kids would be able to deal with this outside of school, and hopefully could deal with this while out of school, and minimize impacts on their grades.

The ex wants to tell the kids now then make me wait a year so they can get used to the idea.  This is way longer than is practical in my book, and although I haven’t presented that idea to my therapist, I think she’ll agree with me.  That would be a year of suspense for them, where they’re not able to talk to friends about it.  Better to get it over with, I think.

 

Schedule, as i have planned it, with Sweety and with the folks at work:

  April (mid to end):  Finalize policy (HR as author, comments from Jude B)

Mid-May, 2009:  Announcement to upper management about plans.

 

End of May – Mid June:  With upper management, department heads, and project/task leads, decide when to do the following things:

 

                               Task leaders talk to Government sponsors.

 

                               Meet to discuss how to announce to community working groups that I participate in.

 

 Somewhere in the late May, early June timeframe:  Tell the kids.  Daughter will be done with her college semester by then, but son will still have finals, and I’d like him to get thru those.                                           

 

July 10, 2009:  Emails out to employees and friends announcing the change.  I will also be sending out announcements to personal friends and relatives at about this point.

 

Week before July 13: general employee forum:  talk to friends/roommate within <company>? <- is this a good idea?

 

Week of July 13: Forum sessions with employees to discuss, with consultant (DL)

 

Week of Aug 10 through Week of Sept 1 (9?):  Off, facial surgery and recuperation.

 

Sept. 2, 2009, or Sept 9, depending on recuperation:  Return to work as Judith M. B.

 

Dealing with my ex is getting harder.  In the last week or so, in 2 separate phone conversations, she’s gotten incredibly mad (interestingly, I don’t care enough about her anymore to get mad at her), and called me a "cheap bastard" (for refusing to let her and her husband commit our money for us without asking first), and a "pompous ass" (for suggesting that if she can’t get past her anger, we’re not going to be able to work something out).  Both times she then hung up on me.

 

I declined her invitation for a phone conversation yesterday – she called up out of the blue and I was in the middle of about 4 different chores – partially because I was too busy, partially cause I was too tired (to talk to her), and partially because I have no desire to be hung up on again.  I wrote her a long email last nite instead.

 Sweety and I so want to be free of this bitch.  Oh, I’m up against my character limit. more later. -Jude

Edits:  In response to a question: how much do the kids know?

Well, I’ve never told them I’m transgender/transsexual, not outright.  I have long hair in a ponytail, earring in the left ear, and I shave my legs (more obvious in the summer, when shorts are in season).  So, Dad is weird, has been for several years now.  No more visible facial hair – I used to have shadow, no more, it’s pretty much all gone. 

How much have they figured out?  I have no idea.  If they’ve been snooping up in my room, in my dresser, they could have figured out everything.  Clothes in dresser, meds in bedside table.  If they’ve suspected for awhile, they might not have a big bad reaction.  Or maybe they might anyway.  Just not sure. 

 

My suspicions are that my son will handle it better than my daughter. She’s so wrapped up in her own stuff sometimes….

 

 

 

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April (mid to end):  Finalize policy (HR as author, comments from Jude B)

Mid-May, 2009:  Announcement to upper management about plans.

End of May – Mid June:  With upper management, department heads, and project/task leads, decide when to do the following things:

                               Task leaders talk to Government sponsors.

                               Meet to discuss how to announce to community working groups that I participate in.

 Somewhere in the late May, early June timeframe:  Tell the kids.  Daughter will be done with her college semester by then, but son will still have finals, and I’d like him to get thru those.                                &n

bsp;          

July 10, 2009:  Emails out to employees and friends announcing the change.  I will also be sending out announcements to personal friends and relatives at about this point.

Week before July 13: general employee forum:  talk to friends/roommate within <company>? <- is this a good idea?

Week of July 13: Forum sessions with employees to discuss, with consultant (DL)

Week of Aug 10 through Week of Sept 1 (9?):  Off, facial surgery and recuperation.

Sept. 2, 2009, or Sept 9, depending on recuperation:  Return to work as Judith M. B.

 

 

Dealing with my ex is getting harder.  In the last week or so, in 2 separate phone conversations, she’s gotten incredibly mad (interestingly, I don’t care enough about her anymore to get mad at her), and called me a "cheap bastard" (for refusing to let her and her husband commit our money for us without asking first), and a "pompous ass" (for suggesting that if she can’t get past her anger, we’re not going to be able to work something out).  Both times she then hung up on me.

 

I declined her invitation for a phone conversation yesterday – she called up out of the blue and I was in the middle of about 4 different chores – partially because I was too busy, partially cause I was too tired (to talk to her), and partially because I have no desire to be hung up on again.  I wrote her a long email last nite instead.

 

Sweety and I so want to be free of this bitch.  Oh, I’m up against my character limit. more later. -Jude