Do you mind …. ?

Here’s an interesting question: Let’s say you have an old friend, you haven’t seen him in like, oh, 3, 4, maybe 5 or 6 years, but you used to hang together alot. You sort of fell out of touch with him. Then, thru some mutual friends (or maybe the newspaper), you find out that he’s now she – she’s transsexual, and has transitioned, and is now living as a woman. Then, one day, you see her on the street… how do you talk about your old friend, who isn’t there anymore? This video is pretty interesting.

Here’s the story behind it, that came from Monica C-L (her dad is transgender, and she’s worked tirelessly and wonderfully in support of family and friends of trans-folk for several years now).

Bill Amesbury had a few hit songs in the 1970s, including "Virginia (Touch Me Like You Do)", and has since transitioned to become Barbra Amesbury. Canadian crooner James Collins released the song "Do You Mind If We Talk About Bill" in 2002, in which he asks Barbra whether she can talk about her life as Bill. The YouTube video is pretty amazing:

So, do any of you know an old friend that you’ve since heard transitioned to a new gender? How did you handle it? If nobody has, then you get an idea of how unique the social situation is from both sides. And, how much we as a culture, need to learn. take care -Jude

Alter Idem

October 4, 2008

I’ve never been in this situation. It was awkward enough trying to remember to call my friend by his new name when he changed it but at this point I have to stop and really think to remember what his name used to be. I’m pretty socially liberal so I’d probably say something horribly inappropriate and probably offensive but funny. And if they were someone I was friends with, they’d know this wasme at normal. Also, that was an awesome song and video. I’m going to find some more of his stuff. As soon as iTunes stops updating…

Liberalis Femina

I suppose as with anything else that tends to make people feel awkward, you just be the friend you always were and be open about the past and the present. I find in these kinds of situations, after the first awkwardness is past, it’s easier to get back on a familiar footing. An elephant under the rug is never a good thing.

scooter

Actually, i’ve never encountered a trans individual in person (not to my knowledge, at least). I’ve chatted with a few over the internet, but that’s about it. That said, if i did encounter an old acquaintance who’s transitioned, i’d probably treat them the same way i did before, albeit with a bit more of an empathic connection.

ryn: I’m all for dismantling nuclear weapons programs, actually. My statement was really a response to some politicians’ comments that they want to make preemptive strikes on countries (i.e. Iran, Pakistan, N. Korea) that are developing weapons. I’d rather everyone took the pacifist diplomatic route, personally.

Joanna Maguire

Ive know several TS’s before & after. Same for my wife she is very interested in their stories. Ive introduced them to her. Maybe her interest is because of me being a CD ? She knows I have hormone imballence A famous A surfer is now TS. ON TV Pity though so many see TS’s as male prostitutes who were once gay males! Most TSs have gender problems not sexual CD like robbers in news does not help us

I love the video, thank you for posting it. I’ve never known any transgender people until I came to OD. Now I know you, ADogGroomersLife & DebbieFrench & I thank each of you for opening my eyes and my mind to another way of life. Without each of you I would still be the naive person I was in the past. I hope that you & sweety are doing well. Much love, Robin

Starbright

October 5, 2008

I dont believe Ive ever known a transsexual person. But I did hear a program on NPR about children as young as ten who knew in their heart that they were supposed to have been the opposite sex. It was interesting in some cases how the parents handled it, and heartbreaking in others. If I did meet an old friend who transitioned I would be very interested in knowing how it all came about, how the person felt, how long the adjustment took, all the details, but I probably wouldnt ask for fear of causing discomfort. RYN: Thanks for stopping by and leaving the thoughtful note.

October 7, 2008

ryn: The tower thingy is a remnant of one of the old bridges, i think. It’s in an area where they used to do a lot of logging, so i think it has some connection to that.

Deve

ryn: And pretty soon it might be 1996 all over again. Personally, I thought most stocks were overvalued when the Dow average hit 6000.

Whisper In The Wind

October 8, 2008

I guess I would have a hard time understanding how this could be awkward… I mean IF the friend were indeed a good friend to me at one time, would not I have realized there were gender issues, then I would be happy for my friend… right? Of course, that is merely a hypothetical for me. I would not mind testing it though