Countdown…

Hi folks,

Well, it’s Thursday, August 6.  My facial surgery is on for next Wednesday, Aug. 12.  Yes, I am nervous.  I get EXTREMELY nervous prior to surgery – even relatively minor things.  Ask Sweety how I was before my last knee arthroscopy – I was unbearable.  😉  She’s a patient saint.

Today,I mailed off the forms to the county circuit court to have my name legally changed.  A bunch of forms, one notarized, and a cashier’s check for $39.  Apparently you don’t even have to show up in court (I have friends who did this recently). 

I am out to about everyone now.  The financial broker is on vacation, he’s the last one, I think.  Bank knows, grocery stores, pharmacists, doctors, neighbors, friends, coworkers..  relatives.  Sweety’s been telling folks on her side of the world too – her friends at her work who know me, folks at school who know me and don’t see me too often.  Chef clients know and are cool. 

Responses:  interestingly, about 1/3 of the folks I notify send something back, and so far, all the responses are positive.  I suppose a lot of folks remember what their mommas taught them:  if you  can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.  Or, they just don’t know what to say, or, as with some of the younger folks here at the office, they’re like "ok.  Now, about this technical issue…."  To a lot of folks, it doesn’t seem to be a big issue, which in a way is terrific.

Warning: Introspective Ramblings Ahead!!

I think I’m struck by a couple of things: 

one, this has been so much easier and smoother than I ever could have imagined. Folks are way nicer than I feared.  Especially given the stories that most trans folk hear while growing up.  Twenty, maybe even 15 or 10 years ago, the standard story was:  get married, have kids, try to forget about it.  Finally come out to your wife. Go to work that day. Come home, all your stuff  is in the front yard, the locks are changed, she’s called your boss, and you’re fired. You are unemployed and homeless.  Tra la tra la.  Society has changed tremendously, for the better. 

Two, there are still folks in the trans community who are bound up in fear and desperation.  We make our own prisons.  We are the ones who most often tell oursevles "I can’t do this".  Or we say "they won’t let me do that", when in fact we’ve never tried. We assume the walls around us.  We’re like mimes in a box, even though the box is misery and we’ve made it all on our own, for ourselves.  I guess that’s what other folks call "possibility". 

I would strongly recommend a book called "The Art of Possibility". 

Anyway, busy weekend.  Cooking for the clients one last time before going out on medical leave, and Sweety and I and a friend are heading down to Mary Washington Univ. in Fredericksburg, VA on Tuesday for an outreach activity – we’ve been asked to come talk to folsk about how they can help transgender students at the school.

So, if you know who Sweety is, perhaps she can do some updates after Wednesday, cause I don’t think I’ll be up for computer crap for a few days.  I’m going to have her take lots of pictures all along the way, maybe we can morph them all together into a neat time-lapse deal.  😉

Hope you’re all well, and thanks for all the comments and support. 

-Jude